Dork3 Nothing Special
by Usagi-Zakura
Summary: Sequel to Dork2 Recless driving. Once again Jak and Daxter are morons, Seem is an even bigger moron, the metalheads are females and Erol? is he dead or not?
1. Starting The Best Game Ever

**Miss.Ecofreak: (cries)**

**Zakura: what the heck are you crying for this time?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: dork2 is over, never again can I write more randomness in it**

**Zakura: oh... but you can write a sequel**

**Miss.Ecofreak: good idea! It's a trilogy! (although there is only two parodies in the story) Now that I've completed Jak3 and Dork2 Ican finally start uploading my fifth fic and third parody, I give you: DORK3! NOTHING SPECIAL!**

**Chapter one**

**Starting the best game ever**

Once upon a time in the Jak and Daxter-world a large blue air train named Sophia was driving trough the unforgiving wasteland.

As the train stopped, two freedom league guards dressed in blue armor came out along with a prisoner.

"Can we drive again? That was fun!" the prisoner asked.

"Shut up Jak! You're banished!" another guy said, an evil-looking guy with a book named count Vaguer (the man was called that, not the book).

"It's Veger! You idiot!" said count Vulgar, "Argh, I hate you miss Ecofreak", then he turned to Jak again, "By order of the great council of Haven City you are banished to the wasteland for life."  
"And that's a bad thing?" Jak asked as the idiot you should have known he is if you have read Dork2.

"That's practically a death sentence" Ashelin, the governor answered.

"That doesn't sound too good" Jak said.

Suddenly a new voice was heard from the air train.

"We are outraged! Outraged beyond words!" the monkey-bird in the train answered.

A precursor…ottsel and a flut-flut…leprechaun appeared behind him.

"We want a recount" the ottsel said.

"Right, not everyone agrees with this ridiculous decree!" the leprechaun said.

"Hey! That's my line!" Pecker said to the leprechaun, Well…ehm…eh.

"You can go with him if you want to" Vegar said, ignoring the fact that I just misspelled his name, again.

"I'll stay. I hate riding air trains anyway" Well said, jumping out of the vehicle and down on the desert sun.

"Good bye Jak, remember to stay out of the sun" Pecker said, "And remember to drink lots of water"  
"Aw, I wanted coke" Jak complained, he looked around, "Hey, there's no shade around here, or water"

Ashelin gave Jak some little glowing thingy, "good luck Jak, and stay alive or I'll kill you" she said.

"Ok. What does this thing do?" Jak asked shaking the glowing thingy.

"Don't break it you moron!" Ashelin said, "I've got something else for you too"

She went back into the air train and came out with a t-shirt, but as she came back out, Jak, Well and even Daxter and Pecker were gone.  
"Where did they go?" Ashelin asked before walking in to the air train again.

Somewhere far away, Jak and his friends were hiding behind a large rock.

"That was too close" Pecker said.

"What did the t-shirt say anyway?" Jak asked.

"I looked like "Erol is the best-looking cyborg ever"" Well said and shivered, "I don't like Ashelin's t-shirts"

"Fine, let's and die in the desert!" Jak said, "I've always wanted to try that!"

Suddenly a flashback started so that the readers would know why the hell Jak and Daxter were out in the wasteland with Well and Pecker.

In the freedom league headquarters Torn was looking at a large thing.

He was wearing a t-shirt; the text on it said "It's so sad Praxis isn't appearing in this game".

"Dude, we've got some serious trouble" he said.

"You bet, the metalheads are attacking from the west and kg-bots have taken over the industrial area!" Jak said.

"Who cares? I'm talking about these t-shirts! Don't Ashelin ever run out of these things?" Torn said.

"That's a problem" Well said, "Who cares about metalheads when there's still more t-shirts around in the city?"  
Then Samos the sage came in, he was wearing a t-shirt saying "I love this city. And the guy who founded it", "I like these t-shirts, they're kind of sexy" he said.

"And they fit so well into the storyline. Being completely ridiculous" his daughter Keira said, she was wearing a t-shirt saying "Who cares about Mar? Jak is waaaaay cooler anyway".

"That's cool you guys… but am I the only one who have noticed there's a war going on?" Jak asked.

"What war?" Torn asked, proving Jak obviously was the only one who had noticed.

Back to the present Jak and his friends were walking around lost and alone in the wasteland.

"Man, I wished my daddy would come pick me up" Jak said, "But my cell-phone is out of power".

"Who's your daddy?" Daxter asked, although he had known Jak almost his entire life he had never seen his father.

"I have no idea. But he should have saved me anyway!" Jak said.

Then they all fainted because author's rabbit was bored of their pointless conversation.

So we take another flashback shall we?

The palace fell over. Flashback over.

Jak, Daxter, Pecker and Well…ehm…eh was sleeping in the desert… fine, they were unconscious.

Then a couple of guys named Damas and Kleiver appeared.

"Cool. We found some live ones!" Kleiver said.

Damas picked up the glowing thingy in Jak's hand.

"Here's the beacon we were picking up, who gave you this?" he asked Jak.

Jak didn't answer, he was still unconscious.

"Stupid head. He won't even answer! Man he's just as unfriendly as my son" Damas said. "But we'll take them with us anyway"

So Kleiver and Damas brought Jak, Daxter, Pecker and Well…ehm…eh to Spargus City.

What is Spargus you might ask? What? You haven't played Jak3? Read the next chapter and you'll find out.


	2. Welcome to Spargus

**Miss.Ecofreak: great, my story is weird and insane. As long as it's a humor-story that's a good thing.**

**Zakura: and now we get to intruduce a new character!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: that's correct! Well's hyperactive cousin! Ehm...Wait! I think I've got it! No... forgot it**

**Zakura: you forgot his name?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: that was his name**

**Zakura: whata weird family**

**Chapter 2**

**Welcome To Spargus**

Jak, Daxter and Well…ehm…eh are resting in the water when Damas comes in.

"Nice water. Better than being out in the desert anyway" Daxter said.

"So you came back from the dead did you? Did you do that? Or are you still dead? Are they dead Damas?" a small leprechaun at Damas' head said.

"Get of my head!" Damas yelled.

"Hey! That's my cousin! Ehm…Wait! I think I've got it! No… forgot it!" Well said.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Ehm…Wait! I think I've got it! No… forgot it said "Why didn't you ever call me? Don't you like me anymore brother?"  
"Number one: I'm not your brother I'm your cousin. Number two: I forgot you existed" Well said.

"Yes. We are indeed the forgotten ones" Damas said. "My name is Damas, I'm king of Spargus".

"Awesome! I wish I had a father who was king" Jak said.

"In the unforgiving wasteland we value strength and survival above all" Damas said.

"Meaning?" Daxter asked.

"If you don't kill someone you're dead" Ehm answered, "And I mean really dead. Not just fake-dead as you were a couple of minutes ago"

"Cool, lots of violence. I like this city" Jak said with a foolish smile.

Damas brought the happy three friends to the arena where the fights were held.

"Welcome all citizens of Spargus!" a familiar voice said, "Today we will once more see three newcomers die… possibly. Please welcome Jak! Daxter! And Well…ehm…eh"

"Pecker! There you are! Where were you?" Jak asked as he saw the moncaw sitting at Damas' throne.

"I was here waiting for you" Pecker said, "I'm Damas' new advisor. At least someone here understands my great…uhm…"

"Wisdom?" Damas asked.

"Right. What he said" Pecker answered.

"Dude. That bird's a moron. I mean really a moron! He's nuts!" Ehm said.

"Ehm…Wait! I think I've got it! No… forgot it. Have you forgotten to take you Ritalin today?" Damas asked.

"Yup" Ehm answered, "They taste like crap man. And I mean real crap, not just "really bad" but the taste like real shit"

"Is your cousin always acting like that?" Daxter asked.

"No. He's hyperactive" Well answered, "But whenever he takes his Ritalin he falls asleep. He's an odd fellow"

"Are we going to fight to the death soon or what?" Jak asked.  
"Oh right, almost forgot it" Damas said, "Bring in the warriors!"

"Bring in the warriors!" Pecker repeated.

"Bring in the warriors baby!" Ehm repeated.

"As if one copycat weren't bad enough" Damas muttered.

Then the warriors came and attacked Jak.

Jak shoot them with his beloved scatter gun until he transformed into Dark Jak and the rest of the warriors were scared to death.

"That was awesome dude!" Ehm said as they came up to Damas again.

"What the hell was that?" Damas asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all really" Jak said innocently after changing back to normal, "There's nothing wrong with me. I never transform into a scary monster whenever I'm angry"

"You just did" Damas said.

"Damn. Busted" Jak said.

"He's been touched with dark eco" Pecker told Damas.

"That's just so cool" Ehm said.

"So he's dangerous huh? That might be useful" Damas said to himself.

"Can we go now? Cause I really need to find a toilet" Jak said.

"Fine, whatever" Damas said.

Then Jak noticed a small annoying monk of indeterminable gender, (possibly transsexual) she seemed small and annoying.

But when Jak looked away the monk was gone.

"Weird" Jak said to himself as he left the arena.

After Jak had found the toilet he met a guy named Kleiver.

"You did quite well out there" he said.  
"Are you talking to him?" Jak asked and pointed at Daxter.

"No, I'm talking to the leprechaun" Kleiver said.

"What leprechaun? If you mean Mr. No forgot it, he's still out there" Well said and pointed out to the arena.

Kleiver just looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"He's a flut-flut" Jak whispered.

Kleiver looked at Jak with a puzzled expression.

"Fine" he said, "I'm talking to the flut-flut"

"Oh, that's me!" Well said.

"So you guys are from the big smoke huh?" Kleiver asked.

"No. we're from Haven City" Well answered.

"Haven City is big and it smoky because the kg-bots put a fire on the industrial area. Therefore, big smoke" Kleiver said.

"That makes sense" Jak said.

"Do you want to help me out a bit? Take this leaper lizard and go catch all the kanga rats that have been eating up my dinner" Kleiver said.

"Nasty rats" Jak said, "We'll get them".

So he jumped up on the leaper's back and rode it out in the city streets, the leaper ate all the rats and the mission had been successfully completed so this chapter got a happy ending.

**Miss.Ecofreak: what did you think of my new character? do you want to see more of him or should he have a small accident and die a slow and painful death?**

**Zakura: and when do we get the answer to the question, is Erol dead or not???**

**Cornelius: please be dead, please be dead**

**Miss.Ecofreak: you'll see (evil laugh)**

**Cornelius: stop that laughing! you remind me of... Erol (shivers)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (giggles) review folks:)**


	3. Bad driver

**Miss.Ecofreak: okay, I'm back!**

**Zakura: again**

**Miss.Ecofreak: stop complaining! you must be the only one on this page who actually complains about to many updates**

**Zakura: get a life, and clean my cage instead!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: you little annoying piece of... oh well, thanks for all the reviews people, I'm so glad someone likes my stories.**

**As for Malik Mings question I forgot to answer last time, if your sister wants to write a parody thats fine, the world can't have to many parodys:)**

**Zakura: unless the author forget to feed their rabbits**

**Miss.Ecofreak: not all authors got rabbits**

**Zakura: or any other pets**

**Miss.Ecofreak: whatever. on with the story. This chapter might be a bit short, (falls down on her knees, crying) please forgive me! (gets up) it tells of what a bad driver Jak is.**

**Chapter 3**

**Bad Driver**

After catching the rats Jak, Daxter and their leprechaun/ flut-flut-friend went to the garage where Kleiver was standing around doing nothing.

"Nice cars" Jak said as he saw the nice dune buggies.

"We use these vehicles to make runs into the deep desert" Kleiver said.

"Cool, can I try?" Jak asked.

"Sure, you can have this crappy little thing if you win a race" Kleiver said pointing at a stupid little car, "But if you loose, I want your prec… ottsel, I've always wanted a pet."

"Deal" Jak said.

Then he went out in the desert to race and won because all the other racers died a slow and painful death (again) for no reason at all.

All except Kleiver that is.

"Damn, fine you can keep the vehicle" Kleiver said, "Just keep it for as long as you live, we'll se how long that is."

The happy three friends went back to Haven City where Damas was waiting with Pecker and Ehm.

"That was just awesome!" Ehm said before Damas hit him in the head with a large wheel. **(You take whatever tool you've got)**

"My advisor says you've got good driving skills" Damas said.

"What? Pecker, why are you lying?" Jak asked.

"You do have good driving skills" Pecker said, "You're just to shy to admit it"

"No way! I suck at driving! I always loose all the races and crash all the time!" Jak said.

"Jak, you're the race champion of Haven City" Pecker said.

"Only because all the others died when Erol spilled dark eco on the track" Jak said.

"And some of them broke all their bones" Well said.

"And the rest got killed by a killer rabbit" Daxter said.

"Rabbits are dangerous" Zakura said.

"It doesn't matter if you're good or not. The storms reveal artifacts that have been buried for centuries" Damas said, "Take your vehicle and drive out there to get them"

"Fine. I'll try but I don't think I can get them" Jak said.

So Jak went out and found all the artifacts in almost no time at all and even though he was shoot at his vehicle didn't get a scratch, it actually looked less damaged than it was when he drove out.

"See? I suck at driving. My car is a wreck!" Jak said when he got in.

"I can see that" Damas said and laughed at Jak because of Jak's bad driving, "You drive just as bad as my kid! That armor you found is very rare, it once belonged to Mar himself. You can keep it…so please don't point your morph gun at me"

"That might come in handy when I fight the dark makers" Jak said and took the armor on his hands.

"Who are the dark makers?" Well asked.

"I don't know, let's go ask that funny transsexual monk" Jak said.

And so they went out in Spargus City to find the funny transsexual monk.

**Zakura: what gender is Seem anyway?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: not a clue. Monks are supposed to be boys or else they would be nuns, and Daxter does say monk-boy in the game, but in the comentaries they say she and Seem has got a female voice. Therefore, let's just say he/she/it. please review, and you don't need to tell me what gender you think Seem has, because then I'll probably get half of the reviews saying male and the rest female so... but review anyway:)**


	4. Funny Monk

**Miss.Ecofreak: I've decided to make Seem female because most of my reviewers says so**

**Zakura: girl-power!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: so right. I've also changed her personality (sigh) You just read and see.**

**Chapter 4**

**The Funny Monk**

Jak and his partners in crime found the monks by the beach where half of them were swimming and the rest were lying around at the beach.

"Er… I don't think that's helping" Jak said to the white monks who were sunbathing

The monk from chapter two sat up and looked inher mirror to check if she gotten a tan.

"Damn! I told you we were using to much sun cream!"she yelled to the others with her feminine voice.

She stood up and got dressed; she even took on a t-shirt ("No more shirts!" Jak screamed) saying "Save the ottsel"

"Can I help you idiotic newcomer?" she asked.

"Yeah… what's that thing?" Jak asked and pointed at the scary dark purple space ship.  
"Oh that? Either it's a sign of doomsday coming or it's nothing to worry about, just ignore it" the monk said casually.

Jak ignored it, which only resulted in him crashing into it when he was walking towards something on the other side of the ship.

Suddenly a screen appeared on it.

"Cool! It's a game!" the monk said sounding exited.

Jak walked up to the game and shot it to pieces (that's how Jak plays games).

As he did that, a dark crystal fell out.

"That's pretty, I want it" the monk said.  
"No way! I beat the game! I get it!" Jak said.

"But if I hadn't told you to ignore the doomsday device/nothing to worry about you would never have found the game!" the monk said.

"I'm the hero! Heroes always get the cool stuff!" Jak said.

"Not always, in Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban Hermoine got a time turner!" the monk said.

"So? Harry got an invincibility cloak and two broomsticks!" Jak said.

"But I want the crystal thingy!" the monk screamed and started jumping up and… sideways.

Doing so,she jumped too far and fell in the water.  
"Ha ha! Now you're wet! I win!" Jak said and ran away laughing.

"That was on purpose!" the monk shouted after him.

As Jak and his friends walked towards whatever they were walking towards the monk was suddenly in front of them with a leaper and a new (dry) t-shirt saying "I love ottsels"

"I challenge you for that crystal you found!" she said.

"No way! I found it! It's mine!" Jak said.

"I'll tell you my name if you do it" the monk said.

"Okay, I'll accept your challenge if you tell us your name and gender" Jak said.

"My name is Seem, and I am female" the monk said.

"I'm Jak, and I am male" Jak said

"I am Daxter, and I am sexy" Daxter said.

"I am Well…ehm…eh… and I'm a girl… I think" Well said.

"No you're not, I saw your mojo when you were in the shower" Daxter said and everybody looked at Daxter as if he was a sick pervert.

"What? I was looking for the soap!" Daxter said in defense.

"Fine, I'm a mail too" Well said, "It's not always easy telling male birds from females"  
"Great, will you race my friends for that crystal now?" Seem asked.

"Your friends? You're not even racing?" Jak asked.

"No, I hate competition" Seem answered and handed the leaper over to Jak.

So Jak raced the other monks and won because all the other's died a slow and painful death when the leapers turned the wrong way and fell in the water.

It turned out neither the leapers or the monks could swim (although the monks were swimming only minutes earlier)

"Hah! I won!" Jak said and started doing a happy dance in front of Seem (who was wearing another shirt saying "Ottsels are as cute as the precursors themselves") while he was singing "I beat the stupid monks! I beat the stupid monks! I get the crystal!"  
"Fine! Keep that stupid crystal! See if I care!" Seem said, before she turned away so nobody could see shewas crying.

she also revealed the back-side ofher shirt said "Die Ottsels! Die!"

"By the way monk" Daxter said, "What is that?" he pointed at a funny purple star on the sky; he found the star funny because it was mid-day.

"Oh. That ugly thing? That's the day star. Either it's a space ship sent by the dark precursors to destroy the planet or it's nothing to worry about. Just ignore it" Seem said casually before she started crying again using her t-shirt to wipeher tears.

Now her t-shirt was wet again and he/she/it had to change it.

So she took on a t-shirt saying "Ottsels are the best pets in the world"

"Wow, that person changes t-shirts more often than Civilian Guy changes his bandages" Daxter said to his friends.

**Zakura: whoa, more t-shirts**

**Miss.Ecofreak: yepp, and Seem changes shirts more often than anyone too! But I still liked Torn's shirts the best**

**Zakura: Well mispelled "male"**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Well does a lot of things wrong, as when he can't tell if he's male of not. And if you know a good way of telling a female bird from a male (not by looking at the feathers of ducks and similar birds) you can tell me:) **

**Zakura: so you can figure out the sexes of the dwargparrots?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: seeing the two birds turned into four I'm quite sure they are male and female, but enough bird-talk. review and don't forget to read next chapter of Dork3 or any other story;)**


	5. Return of the fan girls

**Miss.Ecofreak: I'm back**

**Zakura: where have you been? You didn't update yesterday! I thouhgt you had died! I was afraid you were stuck in a desert storm!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (looks out at the snow storm outside) sure, cause there's a lot of sand out here. Actually I didn't update yesterday because I found this chapter short and borring, so I brought back the fan girls!**

**Daxter: NOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: anyway. Any reviews I should know about?**

**Zakura: quite a lot. Oh, and eco girl says Seem is male**

**Miss.Ecofreak: oh man! I knew this would happen! Some say male others female! I'm sorry if you felt like I did something wrong here eco girl but if I had said Seem was male other readers would complain and say female! Perhaps I should have just stayed with the transexual.**

**Zakura: Seem is like a newborn parrot, you can't tell the sexes**

**Miss.Ecofreak: I can't tell the sexes of an adult parrot either for that sake.. Unless you put two in the same cage and suddenly find three birds some weeks later. Then it definitly male and female**

**Zakura: I know! Let's leave Seem in a cage with Ehm...Wait! I think I've got it! No forgot it for nine months and if a baby appears she's female!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: most likely she/he would kill Ehm for being annoying. But whatever, now on to the next chapter of my trilogy (oddly enough there's only two stories) return of the fan girls!**

**Daxter: I hate you**

**CHAPTER 5**

**RETURN OF THE FAN GIRLS**

After making fun of poor Seem the happy three friends went back to the race garage.

"Hi guys" Kleiver said as they entered.

_Damn! Do all the wastelanders have to sound like Tess? _Jak thought.

"Do you want to go out there and hunt a few metalheads?" Kleiver asked.

"Metalheads? I love to hunt metalheads!" Jak said sounding like a kid on Christmas Eve.

"Well then, there are some girls out there who need their asses kicked" Kleiver said, he pointed, not at the metalheads as people would think, but at Daxter's fan club (formerly Sig's fan club from Dork2)

"IT'S DAXTER!" they all screamed.

But the fan girls were soon eaten by metalheads never to be seen again… at least not until, say, Tuesday?

Jak (who had not noticed this dramatic incident) cheered and ran outside (with no vehicle, no armour, no gun, no… pizza)

"Damn, those were some big metalheads" he said as he noticed the five big metalheads who were still chewing Daxter's unloved fan club.

Among them was one who looked like a large rabbit, there was something familiar about that one.

"Hey, you look like Bunny the metalhead who died last fic" Well said.

"I am Bunny's mother, Little Sue" the large rabbit/metalhead said.

"Er… right" Jak said before shooting Little Sue (with the gun he didn't have… eh… he had stolen the gun from Civilian Guy who just happened to pass by) and her little friends, and rescued the fan girls who had survived.

As he shot them, a dark eco crystal and a small communicator fell of the back of one of them, and an Erol-like face appeared on it.

"Metalhead HIC commander? Do you copHICy?" the Erol-like face said, "If you lost that crystal and you're still HIC sober. I'll kill you all!"

Then the Erol-like face turned around and saw something that looked very much like his worst enemy.

The Erol-like face screamed like a boy (**Miss.Ecofreak: Girls aren't more cowardly than boys!) **and then the communicator ran away screaming like a rabbit (**Zakura: hey! It takes a lot to make a rabbit scream!)**

Suddenly, the communicator was blown up.

"I don't like the sound of your voice" Cornelius said who was holding a gigantic peacemaker.  
"What the hell are you doing out here?" Jak asked, he was also holding a gigantic peacemaker

"I would like to know that as well" Civilian Guy said, heck, even he was holding a gigantic peacemaker. (Hey! Who shot the damn thing?)

"Vacation" Cornelius answered and went to the beach to sunbathe with Seem and the rest of the monks (those who didn't drown or vanished on the volcano close by)

"Well what now?" Jak asked his friends.

"Can we go see U2 again?" Daxter suggested from under the pile of fan girls.

"No way you little… or… whatever" Jak said.

Then they all went to see U2 again (the fan girls too).

All except Well that is, he went with his cousin Ehm to see Phil Collins for no apparent reason, something random just had to happen.

A few weeks later the four of them returned to the Spargus arena.

They had dumped the fan girls in a random desert hoping they would not be rescued by a singing warthog and his stupid ottsel-looking friend or wastelanders.

"Hi big guy" Jak said to Damas as he entered the arena.

"What took you so long? You always come late! Just like my kid!" Damas complained.

"And he came seriously late; he came two years to late for Damas' birthday once!" Ehm said, "And that was two years before Damas' son appeared, Damas' son is the slowest person on earth. Don't you think so Damas? Your son is lazy isn't he?"

"Shut up" Damas said to Ehm.

"Yepp, he sure is late" Ehm said, "Haven't seen him at all the last few years really".

Suddenly a lot of warriors appeared and Jak had to fight them, again.

"How come all these warriors look exactly the same?" Jak wondered as he was hit in the head by an evil-looking fellow.

Jak shot the evil-looking fellow and got a battle amulet as a price.

"That is so unfair!" Seem muttered, she was standing by the arena wearing a t-shirt saying "Ottsels are good fighters"

"What's unfair?" Jak asked.

"Ehm stole my medications!" Seem complained.

Jak wondered why the hell Ehm would steal Seem's medications, since he hated the stuff, but he did not help the little monk, she was damn annoying anyway.

**Cornelius: was that...? That guy in the com... Was that?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: maybe. Don't think Daxter was the only one who got bad news in this chapter.**

**Zakura: Errol might be a cyborg but he's drunk as ever**

**Miss.Ecofreak: did you think I was going to change that? Erol/Errol (why the heck did they change his name?) is so much funnier when he's drunk beyond legal limits.**

**Cornelius: Why didn't I get to see U2?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: you like U2?**

**Cornelius: now, but I wanted to get out a bit. It's so borring just staying around Haven and Spargus all the time**

**Miss.Ecofreak: go ahead I'm not your mother**

**Cornelius: In some ways you are, you did create me**

**Miss.Ecofreak: I created amother for you too, go ask her. meanwhile folks, ignore this pointeless conversation with a fictional character and review!**

**Cornelius: where does babies come from?**


	6. Well is an even worse driver than Jak

**Miss.Ecofreak: I guess it's time I uploaded this**

**Zakura: what's with you? Dork2 was updated like once a day!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: that's because Dork2 was finished before I uploaded this, Dork3 is currently just seven chapters long. Anyway, this is the chapter were Jak and Daxter are sent of to catch some leapers.**

**Zakura: or more precisely, Well and Daxter are sent of. Read and enjoy**

**Miss.Ecofreak: and review**

**CHAPTER SIX**

**WELL IS AN EVEN WORSE DRIVER THAN JAK**

Jak decided to go talk to Kleiver instead of helping Seem retrieve her medications.

Well meant Ehm would most likely give the medications back himself, seeing he hated the stuff.

"You dude, what's up?" Jak asked casually as he entered the garage.

"Damas wants us to round up a few lizards" Kleiver said just as casually.

"Oh… you're fat and ugly" Jak said just because he felt like insulting Kleiver.

"Hey! No fighting!" Damas said as he entered and saw Kleiver and Jak fighting.

Damas dragged a badly injured Jak away from Kleiver who was put in a cage, foaming around his mouth.

"You are just as reckless as my son! Didn't your father ever tell you to pick your battles wisely?" Damas asked.

"Nope, he just totally ignored me" Jak said.

"Of course he ignored you! You never knew your father!" Daxter complained.

"That's too bad, I never knew my son either" Damas said.

Jak and his friends looked at Damas with a look that said "that didn't make sense at all. All he ever talked about was his son!"

"I know! Why don't you tell me?" Jak said.

"Okay. Pick your battles wisely" Damas said.

"Thanks for telling. I'll remember that next time" Jak said and released Kleiver from his cage, "Be free you stupid pig" he said to him.

For the second time that day Damas dragged a badly injured Jak away from Kleiver.

This time Jak was put in the cage.

"That boy never learns. Just like my son" Damas said.  
"And he's a total geek isn't he Damas? Your son's a geek right?" Ehm said before Damas hit him in the head with Jak's cage.

"Are we going to catch those lizards soon or what?" Daxter asked.

"Sure. But since Jak is in the cage you and Well…ehm…eh have to do it alone" Damas said.

Well turned away with an offended look.

"I don't do anything if you keep forgetting my name" he said.

"Well…ehm…eh! Get out!" Damas said.

So Well and Daxter drove out to the wasteland in a random dune buggy (don't expect me to remember their names) until they reached some sort of city ruin.

There were lots of leapers around the ruins so Daxter figured he might as well jump out of the car and ride them instead (Well was a bad driver, much worse than Jak)

Unfortunately Daxter missed the leaper and fell to the ground.

"Oh! Daxter-kun! **(Zakura: is she Japanese?) **Are you okay?"

"Tess? What the hell are you doing here?" Daxter asked.

Tess looked around confused.

"I don't know" she said, "One moment I was at the gun course and the next moment I was here and saw you lying on the ground".

"I know what's going on" Daxter said, "Miss.Ecofreak? What are you doing?"  
"Er… writing?" I said.

"You write insaneness. And why is Tess here?" Daxter asked.

"Er… to comfort you?" I suggested.

"I don't need comforting" Daxter said.

"Oh… fine" I said and Tess disappeared in a large explosion.

"Now I need comforting" the black ottsel (Daxter) said.

Well suddenly noticed Daxter wasn't in the car anymore so he went back to pick him up.

But as he came to the spot where Daxter had fallen of, the ottsel was gone.

"Dax? Where are you Daxter?" Well shouted.

"I beg you pardon ma'am but GET OFF!" a muffled voice from underneath the car said.

Well put the car in reverse and that's when he saw there was something fuzzy stuck on the wheel.

"Er… what were you doing under the wheel?" Well asked confused.

"I was trying to get a tan" Daxter complained.

"No problem! I've got a tan for you here!" Well said and picked up a black and brown rabbit (tana beautiful rabbit-breed) **(Zakura: hey! What about me?)**

Daxter threw the backup-wheel at Well before he jumped back into the car.

"Let's just get those lizards" he said.

So the happy leprechaun and the unhappy ottsel drove on to catch those lizards.

Daxter tried jumping out of the car once more to catch one but that only resulted in Well hitting the leaper with the car so it died (luckily this time Daxter managed to jump into the car before he was caught under it).

So he tried a third time, only to end up with a flut-flut instead of the leaper he was aiming for.

Daxter jumped of the bird and landed on a leaper next to it.

Then he tried to lead the leaper into the pen in the ruins, but then he crashed into a wall and the leaper died (they can't take a damn thing! Flut-fluts are much more solid)

The fourth time Daxter managed to mount a leaper he ran into some plants and don't you think the damn leaper died of that too? Man, this is getting annoying!  
The fifth time Daxter actually managed to the get the leaper into the pen.

Then Well appeared to praise Daxter but nooooo. He drove too far with the buggy and hit the leaper in the pen so it died.

Daxter put Well into the cage with Jak and let Ehm drive instead.

And finally he managed to catch a leaper.

Only to see it be eaten by metalheads.

So Daxter called Tess and asked her to protect the leapers he got into the pen.

And finally, after trying seven times, they finally had a live leaper!  
They decided to ignore the fact that this last leaper was suffering from a fatal heart-disease and would probably die in a few days so it could never be used for anything good.

"Dude, that leaper is sick" Damas said as he saw it.

"You told us to catch a leaper! You never said you wanted at healthy one!" Daxter complained.

"Yeah, and I'm too tired to go out there and catch more" Jak said, that didn't make much sense since he had spend the last few hours in a small cage.

"I don't like leapers. They are just bad imitations of us flut-fluts!" Well said.

Damas was about to ask how an animal could be a bad imitation of another but decided not to, after all, Well is an idiot.

"Whatever. You go take a nap and then we can go to the movies and see Shrek 2 tomorrow morning" Damas said.

**In Japan people often end names with either san, kun or chan.**

**Zakura: are the tan-rabbits cuter than lopdwarf/polish? **

**Miss.Ecofreak: usually, yes. but not cuter than you of course**

**Zakura: thank you**

**Miss.Ecofreak: coughnotcough**

**Zakura: what?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: nothing. please review folks:)**


	7. Volcano

**Miss.Ecofreak: yeah! finally update-time!**

**Zakura: where were you? I thouhgt you were stuck in a sandstorm!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (looks out at snow-storm outside again) hm, this rabbit doesn't get out much. Since when have there been a sandstorm this close to the polar circle? espesially in Februar?**

**Zakura: why don't you just answer your reviews?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: good idea. **

**Answer to Well's fan (I shortened that): yepp. that line was a quote from lion king. I was thinking of having Daxter ask for Simba and Nala too but that was just too stupid?**

**Zakura: Nala? like Nala the rabbit? **

**Miss.Ecofreak: no, Nala the lion. She's the one Nala the rabbit got her name from.**

**Answer to Chibisess: I don't know if that cage is for sale, is it Damas?**

**Damas: are you nuts? How am I supposed to keep Jak and Kleiver for killing each other if I sell that cage?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: good point. But since you can't get the cage, here's a funny chapter instead, enjoy:)**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**VOLCANO**

After watching Shrek 2 with Damas, the happy three friends decided to go visit the highly annoying monk.

So they used a car which jumped very well to reach the monk temple.

Nope, no one had ever told them where the temple was, but they were used to getting places without getting directions.

But when they reached the temple, they realised Seem wasn't home.

"Seem's not home" Jak said to those ignorant people who hadn't noticed that yet, "That's just great! I hate that monk!"  
"Hey look! There's a hang-glider!" Well said, pointing at the hang-glider.

"How the hell did you see that? It's on the top of the building!" Daxter said.

So they climbed up to the top of the building to where the hang-glider was.

There was also a sign next to it.

This is what it said: Don't go to the volcano. Many monks have disappeared there so there could be a dangerous dark-maker-satellite there or it's nothing to worry about. Just ignore it. Love Seem.

Jak didn't really know what to wonder about the most.

The fact that the sign actually told what was in the volcano although no one had returned from it to tell the tale or the fact that Seem had signed it "Love Seem", as if it was a love-letter or something.

Then he noticed the volcano.

"Hey look! There's a volcano!" Jak said.

"Seem told us to ignore it" Well said.

"The first time Seem told me to ignore something I tripped over a dark-maker satellite" Jak said, "I don't want to do that again".

"You didn't crash into something when she told you to ignore the day star" Daxter said before he crashed into the day star (**Miss.Ecofreak: and in case you haven't noticed, it's like thousands of kilometres up in the air)**

Jak and Well looked at Daxter with a puzzled expression.

"What? Haven't you ever seen an ottsel crash in a dark-maker-ship before?" Daxter asked.

"Let's just ignore Seem's warning and go to the volcano anyway!" Jak said.

"Oh no! I am not getting on that thing!" Daxter complained, "See any feathers here? No fly a the ottsel!"  
"I can't fly either. Flut-fluts are like ostriches" Well said.

But Jak tied up the two friends to the hang-glider and flew out to the volcano.

There they found a leaper running around.

"Look! There's a leaper who is not suffering from a fatal heart disease" Daxter said, "It might be useful"  
So they caught the leaper and used it to reach new places (like the fourth light power which Jak still hadn't gotten.)  
After riding the leaper for a few… say… days they found a dark maker satellite with a monk in front of it.

The monk was dead, and he/she/it was holding a dark thingy that looked very dangerous, or maybe it was just nothing to worry about.

"You've been hanging around with that monk haven't you?" Jak asked the author.

"Looks like it didn't agree with him" Daxter said and tried to take the dark thingy.

"Don't' touch it Daxter! Maybe you'll be transformed into an ottsel!" Jak warned.

"Look at me Jak, I look like a precursor and I have a soft fur which keeps me warm in the cold winter-nights. How can things get any worse?" Daxter asked and removed the dark thingy from the dead monk's hands.

But as he touched the thing he was suddenly transformed into an ottsel (he does that a lot) and dropped the thing because he was so shocked.

Jak caught it and disappeared.

"Hey! Where did Jak go?" Well asked.

Jak dropped the dark thingy in Well's head (for no good reason) and became visible again.

"Cool, I became invincible!" Jak said sounding happy.

"That's great Jak! Now you can sneak into a clothes shop and get me some soft underpants!" Daxter said.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Then The Mask would come and pull it over your head" Jak said.

"Fine. Let's just get back" Daxter said.

So they got back by jumping through a teleport gate (the hang-glider broke) and then they were back in the monk temple.

**Zakura: where did that teleport gate come from?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: I don't know and I don't care. All I care about is reviews!**

**Zakrua: hey!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: right. and you. plus a whole lot of other things. But I also want reviews! Send in some and I'll update this... tomorrow. hopefully.**


	8. Fun at the temple

**Miss.Ecofreak: alright! Time to make fun of Seem again**

**Zakura: a bit. What about Well? **

**Answer to Well's fan: you call yourself Well's fan and you want to torment him? What's with you?**

**Zakura: Eco, you do the same thing. **

**Miss.Ecofreak: right. you always hurt the ones you love. Still, I didn't do anyhing to Well because he's got a habit of not being affected by dark eco simply because he doesn't like dark eco**

**Zakura: extremely stupid reason**

**Miss.Ecofreak: sure, and Ehm does not think he's a leaper.**

**Zakura: aw**

**Miss.Ecofreak: that was all I had to say about the no-name-cousins. Now it's time for another Veger-bashing and careless-Seem-containing chapter of Dork3! Nothing special.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**FUN AT THE MONK TEMPLE**

Back in the temple they went through some more challenges which the author was too lazy to write down and then they noticed Seem was talking to some strange Voger-looking guy… oh, it is Vegor **(Veger: MY NAME IS VEGER! VEGER YOU ASSHOLE! Miss.Ecofreak: watch your language).**

"I want no excuses!" he said, "You told me this could be done!"  
"Yeah, we've never bothered to do it because we're not in a hurry" Seem said casually.

"What? But if I don't get down into the catacombs we'll all be killed by the day star!" Feger said.

"You don't have any proof that the day star is in fact a dark maker ship with a doomsday-device in it. It's probably nothing to worry about" Seem said.

"You are annoying!" Veyer said and walked away.

"NO! Don't leave me here in this scary temple!" Seem screamed and ran after Veget.

Jak, Well and Daxter looked at this conversation from a distance.

"What was that all about?" Jak wondered.

"Look! There's a large ottsel statue!" Daxter said.

And sure enough, there was a large ottsel statue standing in front of them

Why the hell there was an ottsel statue in a precursor temple nobody knew (except everyone who had completed Jak3).

Jak walked up to the statue with Well following after him and Daxter running in front of him (you could say Daxter walked up to it while the two others followed but Jak's the hero)

"Yo dark one" the ottsel statue/oracle said in a surfer kind of way, "Want a new power?"  
"What kind of power is that?" Daxter asked.

"I was talking to the tall one, shorty!" the oracle said (**I love that line).**

"Hm, must be me" Jak said as he noticed Well and Daxter were both like two feet tall while he was… taller.

Then the oracle gave Jak a new power.

"Hey! The dark eco feels far away!" Jak said.  
"Nah, it's over there in the corner" Daxter said pointing at a puddle of dark eco in the corner.

"What was that new power?" Well asked.

"I don't know" Jak said, "Better try it out"

Then he tried it out.

He transformed into Light Jak and healed himself.

Not that it was necessary because he already had full health.

"Hm, that was fun" Daxter said.  
"Yeah. Now we can go do fun stuff" Jak said.

"Wait up! Clean up that mess you made before you go!" the oracle complained.  
"But I don't want to!" Jak complained, "I want to go out and play soccer with my friends!"  
"You're only three, that's not enough people to play soccer. Besides, two of you are hardly bigger than the ball".

"That's no problem, we'll use this ball instead" Well said, holding up a bowling-ball.

Sure, the bowling-ball is just the same size as a soccer-ball but Well doesn't know that, he's a (to use the words of Dr. Evil) freaking idiot.

"And my fleas will make up for the lack of players" Daxter said, throwing the ball at one of his fleas, "Catch it Charlie! Come on now! Run towards the goal!"  
But Charlie didn't run.

"Charlie, why are you sleeping?" Daxter asked.

Charlie didn't answer; he just kept on sleeping, not snoring, not kicking in his sleep, not breathing…

"Charlie's dead Dax" the oracle said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hold on, how do you know my name?" Daxter asked.

"I am almighty" the oracle said.

"Bruce Almighty?" Jak asked.

"No, just almighty. I know everything" the oracle said, "So if you got an important question to ask me, now's your chance".

"Okay! Fine. I'm going to ask something" Jak said, thinking for a long time what he was going to ask.

"I know Jak! Why don't you ask him who your father is?" Daxter asked.

"Dude, what kind of lame-ass question is that?" Jak asked, "I know! Where's the ball I lost when I was five?"  
"It's buried under two hundred years of sand you idiot" the oracle said, "Do you have a question flut-flut?"

Then everyone was surprised because the oracle actually called Well a flut-flut seeing that everyone (except Well himself) knew that he was a leprechaun.

"Yes. Do you have kids?" Well asked.

"Yes" the oracle said shortly, "Five hundred of them. What about you ottsel?"  
"I'm going to ask something I've always wondered" Daxter said, "Why does Well think he's a flut-flut?"  
"Hey! I am a flut-flut!" Well said.

"He's an idiot" was the answer, "Now clean up and get out, you annoy me".

So Jak cleaned up the dark eco puddle he spilled and walked out with his friends to play soccer, after having a funeral for Daxter's flea of course.

After the soccer-match they had to have another funeral as well, for all the fleas who was crushed under Well's bowling ball.

One good thing came out of it though, Daxter was flea-free.

**Zakura: oh. those poor fleas (cries)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (giggles) ottsel statue**

**Zakura: what was the meaning of that? it's a precursor temple**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (giggle) ottsels... honestly**

**Zakura: hellooooo? Rabbit to human? What's the deal with the ottsel statue?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (laughing out loud)**

**Zakura: geeeez... Well, since Ecofreak is laughing her head of right now, I guess I will have to ask you to review, and you might make her stop laughing.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (still laughing) those silly little rats.**


	9. Rescue stupid wastelanders caught in stu...

**Miss.Ecofreak: New chapter! I was planning to upload this yesterday but the power kept disappearing so I didn't bother log on to the internet. damn powercuts! It happened in the middle of South Park so I missed a couple of minutes!**

**Zakura: whoooo,scary.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: and I wasn't even able to watch Naruto!**

**Zakura: AAAAA!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: now she reacted. Then again Naruto doesn't play on norwegian TV so I never miss it anyway (giggles) Oh yeah, reviews.**

**Answer to Chibisess: I have no idea how many movies they have been watching but in this storyI think there's only one (one damn funny one too) Maybe they'll let you come and watch if you bring your own popcorn (they don't like to share)**

**Answer to Shadesofblood: fine, so she is a girl, but I think I said ages ago to not mention it all the time. I get a bit sick of people telling me that Seem is female (or that one person who said male). Anyways, I'm glad you liked my fic:)**

**Answer to Wells "fan": Don't you like Well anymore?;) As for precursors and fleas... Humans have lice too you know, no one's perfect.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: and to everyone else who reviewed: thank you! you make me a happy precursor!**

**Zakura: you're not a precursor**

**Miss.Ecfreak: but I can pretend I am (smiles) anyway, there is a tiny yaoi alert in this chapter**

**Zakura: coming from you?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: yeah. but it's small, so if you don't like homosexual releationships, ignore it. It's hardly hints anyway. Enjoy:)**

**CHAPTER NINE**

**RESCUE STUPID WASTELANDERS CAUGHT IN STUPID STORM**

Sp after the soccer match and the funeral(s) the sad three friends went back to Spargus in their Mercedes.

**Zakura: hold on a second! Stop the story!  
Miss.Ecofreak: what's wrong?**

**Zakura: didn't they go to the temple in a dune hoper? Not a Mercedes!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: er… it evolved?**

**Zakura: cars don't evolve, Eco.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: fine! Daxter inherited the car from one of his fleas, happy now?**

Back in Spargus they met Damas; he was running around in his room in wild panic.

"There's a storm coming! Hide! Hurry! Five men are trapped in the desert! They are going to die! We're all doomed!" he screamed.

"Relax you fatherly figure" Jak said, "Why are we all doomed when there are only five people out in the desert?"  
"They were the only ones who know how to make French fries" Damas explained.

Everyone gasped.

"No way!" Cornelius said.

"That's horrible!" Civilian Guy said.

"Why? HICK. Why?" Erol cried.

"Yeah, why the hell are you here? You're supposed to be dead!" Jak said to his old drunken enemy.

"Oh, right. HICK! I'll go now" Erol said and walked away, drunk.

"We have to save those men! Or there will be no more French fries!" Well said.

They all agreed, so they all went out (absolutely everyone who has appeared in this fic minus those who are dead) to save the poor men.

Unfortunately, before they reached the fifth guy, Ashelin and Keira started fighting over Jak and Jak felt so loved.

The fight went on, and everyone was to busy watching to care about the French fries-making guy who was currently dying.

And as soon as the fight seemed to be over (Keira had ran away crying) all the others decided to help the poor guy before he died.

Then suddenly out of the blue, Torn figured he wanted to be Jak's lover.

So Ashelin and Torn started fighting.

No one ever thought about asking Jak what he thought.

"Stupid wastelanders caught in stupid storm" Jak muttered, "They make all my friends fight".

Sure, the wastelanders had nothing to do with Jak's friends fighting; in fact, it was Jak's fault for being so sexy.

After a while, Ashelin ran away too and Torn was appointed the winner.

But before they got to the dying wastelander, Keira returned.

Then everyone got to their senses and left Torn and Keira to kill each other while they went to save the wastelander.

But as they got to the wastelander…

"Oh crap! He's already dead!" Damas cried.

Ehm walked up to the wastelander and stuck a stick up his nose.

"Yup, he's dead alright" he said, "No living person has ever let me do this on their nose. Right Damas? You wouldn't want me to stick a stick up your nose would you?"

Damas stuck a stick up Ehm's mouth to make him shut up while Jak walked up to the dead guy… still confused over the fact that his body didn't disappear as other bodies would.

"Cool, a dark crystal" he said.

"HEY! I want that!" Seem said and took the crystal out of Jak's hands.

Suddenly, a dark maker satellite appeared.

"On second thought, you can have it" she said and throw the crystal back at Jak, who got it in his eye, and that hurt, a lot.

"Hey! I got the crystal in my eye and that hurt a lot!" Jak said.** I already said that!**

Then the dark maker satellite shot him.

"That hurt even more" Jak said, and ran away screaming.

"There goes our planet's last hope" Daxter said.

"Don't worry. Be happy" Seem said, "It's probably nothing to worry about anyway, just ignore it".

Whatever Daxter was supposed to ignore Seem couldn't tell because she too was shot by the satellite.

"Hey! That hurt god damn it!" she screamed and threw her make-up at the dark maker satellite.

That was too much for the dark satellite, it broke down and Jak returned.

"There's no reason to thank me. I only did what I had to do" he said as his fan club (aka: Torn, Ashelin and Keira) all started fighting again.

**Zakura: Jak took the pride for Seem's actions. that's Daxter's job!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: you're right. bad Jak**

**Jak: sorry, won't do it again **

**Miss.Ecofreak: you're grounded!**

**Jak: nooooo! oh wait, you're not my mother**

**Miss.Ecofreak: no... but i can call her**

**Jak's mother on a cloud: you're grounded!**

**Jak: aw**


	10. Another arena fight

**Miss.Ecofreak: I'm back with another (hopefully) hilarious chapter! **

**Zakura: And to another Arena fight. **

**Miss.Ecofreak: but first, let's answer some reviews**

**Answer to Chibisess: It's nice that you like Damas, there wouldn't be any Dork3 without him. Or.. it would, but without Damas, Spargus wouldn't have any king, baron Praxis wouldn't have anyone tobetray and Jak's mother would have a baby outside marrige.**

**Zakura: anyhing wrong with that? my mom got kids outside of marriage and wiht two different males too!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: rabbits don't get married. But still. here's another arena fight for all you who like to see weak people die**

**All those who like to see weak people die: JAY!**

**CHAPTER 10**

**ANOTHER ARENA FIGHT**

When Jak came back to Spargus that day he was a happy elf.

He had just figured out there were no less than three persons in this story who liked him.

The only thing that annoyed him was that one of them was a male.

Then another thing came up which annoyed Jak.

He had to fight in another arena fight.

"But…" Jak started.

"No buts! You are going to fight to the death weather you like it our not!" Damas said, "Because we like to watch weak people die"

"Fine, that's a good reason" Jak said and walked to the arena.

In the arena, lots of weak people died and the people cheered.

Jak however, didn't die; neither did his friends and another dude who was standing behind a large block.

That dude was called Sig, and he was an old friend of Jak.

"Sig! An old friend of mine!" Jak said as he saw Sig, "I thought you were in Norway watching TV"

"Why the hell would I want to do that?" Sig asked confused, "Norwegian TV don't show Naruto (**Sad isn't it?) **And hey! This is an arena fight; we have to fight to the death".

"Oh... ok" Jak said and pointed his gun at Sig's only remaining eye.

"No! Don't kill me!" Sig screamed and ran up and hid behind Damas' throne.

"Blasphemy! One must kill the other!" Damas said.

"Yeah, and that means they have to be completely dead! Not fainted, loosing a leg or loosing a head. Real dead!" Ehm said.

"People do die when they loose their heads" Pecker commented.

"Real dead as you will be if you keep talking" Damas said to the leprechaun.

"Aw, come on Damas, I've already beaten three arena tests!" Ehm said.

Perhaps you're wondering how Ehm, who is just shorter than Daxter, can beat thee arena tests; I can tell you he bored his rivals to death by talking nonsense.

"But I don't want to die" Sig said shivering.

"How the hell did he become a wastelander?" Damas wondered while trying to hit a hyperactive leprechaun in its head with his throne (man, he's strong!)

"I don't want to kill my friend either" Jak said.  
"Nope, but I want to!" Well said before Jak pulled his cap over his head.

"He's such a sissy" Seem muttered, she was currently wearing a t-shirt saying "Ottsels are courageous".

"Who the hell invited Seem here? She's an annoying transsexual bitch!" Damas said and threw Seem out in the desert were she was eaten by snakes… not; I need her for later appearances.

So Seem survived, but she sat outside in the desert crying.

Back in the city, Damas was not a happy person either.

"You two are such wimps" he said to Jak and Sig, "But you can have one new chance. Sig, because you were such a good spy and Jak because you remind me of my kid, he was a damn sissy too"

"Hey!" Jak said, "I'm no wimp! And I bet your kid isn't either, because I am no wimp and you always say I'm exactly like your kid!"  
"Not exactly. You have another name and are older" Damas said.

"I could have changed my name and time-travelled so I became older" Jak said.

"Yeah right. And I'm the former king of Haven City" Damas said.

Damas brought the four friends to his castle where they watched Lord of the rings before Damas gave them a new mission.

"I want you too go out in the wasteland and kill some metalheads" he said.

"Wasteland? But there are metalheads in the wasteland!" Sig said.

Hm, he's changed since Dork2, how weird.

"Relax man, they are no match for your peacemaker" Damas said.

"But…but….but… I lost the peacemaker when I was eaten by a large centipede back in Dork2" Sig said, fine, that explains a lot.

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket and by a new one?" Jak asked.

"What a glorious idea!" Sig said, and then he ran out the door.

"Great, now that he's gone let's hurry up and eat his pudding" Damas said.

So they all jumped into Sig's backpack to get his pudding.

Ehm was tied up to a rock while the others were eating to prevent him from becoming even more hyper.

Sig returned after half and hour.  
"What took you so long?" Damas asked angrily, he wasn't really angry that Sig was taking to much time buying himself a new peacemaker, he was angry that Sig hadn't bought more than one bowl of pudding and that Jak, Daxter and Well…ehm…eh had eaten it.

"Sorry, I had to go to New York to buy a new gun. They were sold out everywhere else" Sig said.

"Krew was sold out too?" Jak asked.

"You guys shot Krew in Dork2, remember?" Sig said.

Jak didn't remember that, he had a concussion because Damas had hit him in the head with his throne after Jak had eaten his part of the pudding.

Wow, Damas is still strong! He can lift his throne and use it as a hammer/wheel (remember he hit Ehm in the head with a wheel earlier)!

"So… can you go out take out the metalheads now?" Damas asked.

"No! I want to see what happens next!" Well said, he was referring to the lord of the rings DVD-collection they had just watched.

"We've already watched the whole trilogy! Extended DVD edition!" Damas said.

"You mean there's no sequel?" Well asked.

"No" Damas answered.

"Who are you again?" Jak asked; he still had a concussion, probably amnesia and memory-loss as well.

"I'm Damas, king of Spargus" Damas said to Jak.

"And who's the rat?" Jak asked who was still suffering from concussion… this can take a while.

"That's Daxter; you've known each other since you were kids" Damas answered, "Now can you please leave?"  
"Not until you give me some of that pudding!" Ehm said.

Ehm didn't get any pudding.

He wasn't supposed to be on the mission anyway so what he meant didn't matter.

Jak, Daxter, Well and Sig drove out to the wasteland.

Sig was driving because none of them trusted Jak to drive because he had a concussion and Well had always been a bad driver while Daxter was so traumatised because of the class two race that he never wanted to get close to a steering wheel ever again.

He was sitting in the back of the car, throwing things at the steering wheel.

They found a metalheadcave behind a bunch of metalhead eggs that they ate for breakfast.

Daxter ate his raw; he was part weasel so he liked them best that way.

Sig and Well got fried eggs while Jak didn't want to come near them because he thought they contained a large chicken monster (like the one in Jimmy Neutron the movie), he had obviously gotten himself some kind of brain damage after Damas hit him in the head with his throne.

After breakfast Sig drove his car into the cave with the happy three friends aboard.

Jak and his friends where in the car as well, and they threw out the cute little animals so they all died in many different and horrible ways (**Eco: Happy Three Friends is a cartoon series I once saw on the internet, it's about cute little animals who die in different horrible ways. Zakura: you are sick!)**

Once they were inside the cave they started killing metalheads till the metalheads were dead.

Then they hurried out, because there was a lot of poisonous gas in the cave.

"And that's a bad thing?" Jak asked.

"That is a very bad thing Jak" Daxter answered.

He took Jak's stupid question as a sign that he was recovering, which was a good thing.

Either that or his insaneness came from the brain damage he had gotten, but Jak had been insane since Dork2 so it was hard to say if he was recovering or not.

So after writing a fairly stupid and random chapter of her story, Miss.Ecofreak proceeded to the next chapter.

**Miss.Ecofreak: that's all I had for you today, hope to see you again sometime.**

**Zakura: chances are you have never seen any of the readers**

**Miss.Ecofreak: fine, let's say it in anohter way: I hope to see your reviews again sometime.**

**Zakura: better. review boys, girls, men, women and rabbits of all sexes.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: both sexes Zak.**


	11. Return of the tshirtsaleswoman

**Miss.Ecofreak: another chappy, jay! I've got quite a few reviews to answer so I'll start by doing that.**

**Answer to Something Stupid: Oh, you poor person. (Cries) I haven't actually seen the animes you talk about her but I've read Dragonball (the original). It's quite fun, not as fun as Naruto though.**

**Answer to Eco Girl: nope, Mercedes don't jump. I have no idea how Jak and Daxter made that work. **

**Answer to Eco Girl again: You don't know? Have you completed Jak3? SPOILER! The precursors are ottsels, seriously. (PS: Count Vygur has a message for you)**

**Veger: MY NAME IS VEGER! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE SEE THAT?**

**Answer to Well's ceiling fan: good question. Let's ask shall we?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Daxter, what did you throw on the steering wheel?**

**Daxter: oh, that was a lot of different things**

**Zakura (tired of not talking for this entire chapter): like what?**

**Daxter: lets see, it was a steering wheel, Sasuke's teddy bear (ah! now we know why Sasuke lost his in Dork2!) Miss.Ecofreak's collection of Naruto-comics, an Ashlee Simpson-cd, Miss.Ecofreak's little brother's collection of Dragonball-comics, a bunch of Duel Masters-dvds, Miss.Ecofreak's diktionari, Errol's beer bottles and a cat.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: well that answers your ques... hey! So you're the one who took my comic-books!**

**Jak: Give me back my CD damn it!**

**Sasuke: what the? I've never had a teddy bear**

**Zakura: Sasuke!**

**Everyone expept Daxter, Zakura and Sasuke: (attacks Daxter)**

**Zakura: (hugs Sasuke)**

**CHAPTER 11**

**RETURN OF THE T-SHIRT-SALESWOMAN**

After recovering from concussion Jak was driving aimlessly around in the desert while his two companions, Well and Daxter, were sitting on top of the car throwing eggs at the passing marauders.

No wonder the marauders keep shooting at Jak as he drives through the desert minding his own business.

But as he drove around aimlessly in the desert he suddenly noticed Ashelin had opened a new t-shirt-stand at an oasis.

"Jak! I was hoping you might appear!" Ashelin said as the happy three friends arrived.

"Hi! Um… Ashley" Jak said, fine, so he's not fully recovered.

"What are you doing here _Ashelin?_" Daxter said.

"I was looking for you, and I thought I might sell some t-shirts while I was here" Ashelin said.

Suddenly Jak noticed Seem was standing behind Ashelin, looking at shirts.

Seem herself was wearing one saying "Ottsels have beautiful wings" and was looking at one saying "What are you talking about? Ottsels don't have wings!"  
"Well, here we are. What did you want… um… Ashline" Jak said.

"I wanted to ask you to come back to Haven City! The city needs you! I need you" Ashelin said.

"I need you more!" Keira said from Ashelin's zoomer, she was wearing a t-shirt saying "I need Jak".

"I need you more than anyone!" Torn said from Ashelin's zoomer, he was wearing a shirt saying "I need Praxis".

"The city threw me out! Er… they did throw me out, right?" Jak said.

"Yes… but don't worry about what Vegyr said" Ashelin said.

"IT'S VEGER!" Veger said from Ashelin's zoomer.

"Damn it! How many people are hiding in my zoomer?" Ashelin asked.

Veger looked back into the zoomer.

"Er… I can see Keira, Torn, Miss.Ecofreak the dark precursor, Kor, Krew, Sig, the crocadog, Cornelius, Civilian Guy, myself, Tess, Torn, Pecker, Damas' son, Damas' daughter, Jak, Zakura, Kyuubi (a nine tailed demon fox), Ashelin, Veger, Seem, George, Roger Rabbit, lots of baby-rabbits (**Eco: there are one male and one female rabbit in the zoomer, what had you expected?)** junk-food and Sig" he said.

"Then what are Keira, Torn, Miss.Ecofreak the dark precursor, Kor, Krew, Sig, the crocadog, Cornelius, Civilian Guy, myself, Tess, Torn, Pecker, Damas' son, Damas' daughter, Jak, Zakura, Naruto, Ashelin, Veger, Seem, George, Roger Rabbit, lots of baby-rabbits, junk-food and Sig doing in my zoomer?" Ashelin asked.

"Trying to find my missing cat" Keira, Torn, Miss.Ecofreak the dark precursor, Kor, Krew, Sig, the crocadog, Cornelius, Civilian Guy, myself, Tess, Torn, Pecker, Damas' son, Damas' daughter, Jak, Zakura, Sasuke, Ashelin, Veger, Seem, George, Roger Rabbit, junk-food and Sig answered in unison.

"We were born here" the baby rabbits said.

"There are no cats in my zoomer so get out" Ashelin said.

So Keira, Torn, Miss.Ecofreak the dark precursor, Kor, Krew, Sig, the crocadog, Cornelius, Civilian Guy, myself, Tess, Torn, Pecker, Damas' son, Damas' daughter, Jak, Zakura, Sakura, Ashelin, Veger, Seem, George, Roger Rabbit, lots of baby-rabbits, junk-food and Sig jumped out of Ashelin's zoomer and they all went their separate ways to get home.

All except Zakura who went and dropped her kids at an orphanage, because at three months old, she didn't feel ready to become a mother.

"Good, now that they're gone. Please come back to the city Jak! Or we'll all die!" Ashelin said.  
"Then you should have thought about that before you threw me out here to die!" Jak said, "That really hurt my feelings you know".

"But you are Mar's heir! Actually you should have been the ruler of Haven City; I bet that gives you some kind of responsibility!" Ashelin said.  
"Sorry Lillian, I don't want to" Jak said, completely forgetting Ashelin's name.

"So the hero I knew did die in the desert" Ashelin said disappointed.

"No, but I have a mayor concussion right now and a memory like a leaky cauldron" Jak answered, "I'm surprised I even remember your name!"  
"You don't remember my name" Ashelin reminded him.

"See? I even forgot that!" Jak said, "Who are you again?"

Ashelin decided to ignore Jak's question because she felt she was going to hear that a lot in the future anyway, instead she walked back to the zoomer and picked out a couple of things.

One was the seal of Mar, and the other was Jak's jetboard.

"Keira wanted you to have this" she said and gave Jak the jetboard, "And this seal is only in the way so you can have that too".

"Gee, how generous of you to give me the stuff you stole from me last week" Jak said, "Why don't you give me the magazine you borrowed too while we're at it?"  
"How come you remember the magazine and nothing else?" Ashelin asked.

"What were we talking about again?" Jak asked.

"Nothing. Bye Jak" Ashelin said and left before Jak remembered, she liked that magazine and had no intention of giving it back.

After Ashelin had gone, Jak said "You know what guys? I really wished I could see Ashelin again".

His friends looked at him with a puzzled expression, until they remembered Jak's brain damage and decided to ignore it.

**Miss.Ecofreak: I hope you've learned your lesson young ottsel**

**Daxter: (is stuck in Zakura's cage) this is getting old**

**Damas: suits you for stealing my steering wheel.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: What did you think of Jak always forgetting things? I want to know, and what you think about other stuff in the story as well**

**Daxter: and tell her it's stupid to shut me in here because of some stupid manga-books!**

**Zakura: ignore him. review:)**


	12. Large explosion

**Miss.Ecofreak: what the?**

**Answer to Something Stupid: don't do that! if you commit suicide I will loose a reader! and that would make me very sad, besides, killing yourself because of lack of animated series is quite stupid. I'm sure more will come. Don't shot either! There will be no more funny dork3 if I die. It's limited how fun you can make riding a catacomb-subrail, so I wrote in others stupid stuff instead**

**Zakura: like large explosions?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: no.. what makes you think there are large explosions in this chapter?**

**Zakura: a sixt sence**

**Miss.Ecofreak: it needs to be fixed, like my ps2-remote control(glares at Zakura)**

**Zakura: you know, Sony shouldn't make their wires so soft, biting a hole in it was easy!**

**CHAPTER 12**

**THE LARGE EXPLOSION**

Here comes another long monk temple test… great.

Let's just skip to the part where they enter the catacombs (no, not the ones under the palace), Jak used his seal to open a door and then they found a catacomb.

"That was fast" Well said.

"The easiest monk temple test I've ever been trough… I think" Jak said.

"Yeah, but what now? We could really need held from a precursor right now" Daxter said, "Where are those fuzzballs when we need them?"  
Meanwhile in the old metalhead nest.

"Well I would have helped, IF YOU HAD REMEMBER TO GET ME OUT OF THIS ROCK!" a voice from inside a green crystal said.

Quite odd that the unhatched precursor could hear what they were saying when Jak and co were far far away.

"What are all these fairy tale-characters doing here?" Daxter asked.

Ok, not that far away.

Just then Pecker appeared.

"There you are! Onin says we must get back to Haven City!" he said.

"How do you know? You haven't seen her since we left Haven City" Daxters said.

"Phone" Pecker answered casually.

"The old hag doesn't even speak! How can she use a phone?" Daxter asked.

"She sent me an mms, and it's a really nice one too" Pecker said, "Want to see?" he showed them his phone, on it there was a colour picture of Haven City on fire.

"Kind of explains why we must get back too"

Jak activated the little yellow thingy with his seal.

"This isn't as good as the air train, but it'll do" Jak said.

So they drove through the catacombs and found an old eco mine.

"Looks like an old eco mine" Jak said.

"The author already said that, now let's explore" Daxter said and then they went exploring until they found a bomb train.

"Watch it! It could be haunted!" Well said as he saw the eco train.

Jak, Daxter and Pecker looked at Well with a puzzled expression.

"That was the most random thing I've ever heard" Jak said, "And I should know, I hang around that boy", he pointed at Daxter who gave him a death glare.

"I know! Let's use this train to create a large explosion!" Cornelius said.

"What the f are you doing here?" Jak asked.

"I want to use the bomb train to create a large explosion!" Cornelius said.

"And why should we do that?" Daxter asked.

"Because I like large explosions!" Cornelius explained, "Besides, we can use the hole created by the large explosion to get into Haven City."

Jak looked at Cornelius with wide eyes, "Great Cornelius! We can use the hole created by the large explosion to get to Haven City! And large explosions are a lot of fun" he said (**Eco: this line was inspired by a Norwegian comedy, some guys try to figure out different stuff and then this woman named Britt comes by and gives them a good advice, that makes this one dude look at her wide-eyed before he says "Great Britt!" in Norwegian of course)**

So they lead the train towards the wall they wanted to blow up.

Then they saw that the railway was full of holes, they had to do something to fix them.

"Let's make new rails of Well's beard" Jak suggested.

"No way! Use Daxter's beard!" Well complained.

"I don't have beard birdbrain!" Daxter said, "We'll use his shoes".

"That's no use. We have to use his nose" Pecker said.

"How about using his eyes?" Cornelius said.

"Why is everything about me? Why can't we just call the railway-workers?" Well asked.

Jak looked at Well wide-eyed, "Great Well! We'll call the railway-workers!" he said.

And so they did.

And the railway-workers came and fixed the rails and finally, the bomb train was able to reach the wall.

Jak and Cornelius shivered with excitement as the train reached the wall.

But to their great disappointment, there was only a medium-sized explosion.

That made both of the elves cry.

"Stop that, it's pathetic" Daxter said.

So Jak and Cornelius stopped instantly.

"Hey Jak, I noticed something" Well said, "Is your brain damage finally healed?"  
"No, but I've made these notes so I remember everyone's names" Jak explained showing Well the notes he had made, "Either that or it's healed, I've just forgot it"

The happy five friends kept walking, until they met an old friend.

"Ginny! How good to see you!" Jak said.

"What the? My name is not Ginny and I'm not a friend of yours!" the guy who's name was not Ginny and who was not Jak's friend.

"Relax Gerev, why are you so angry? And what are you doing down here anyway?" Daxter asked.

"IT'S VEGER DAMN YOU!" Veger said, "And I'm here to make sure that eco freak doesn't get back to Haven City".  
"Who me?" Cornelius asked.

"No… I was talking to your friend" Veger said.

"Who me?" Tanya asked.

"NO damn it! The eco freak!" Veger said.

No reaction.

"Jak!" Veger said.

Still no reaction.

"Psst, you're Jak" Daxter whispered.

"Oh right, so what are you going to do to stop me?" Jak asked Veger.

"I'm going to make this robot attack you" Veger said.

Then a large precursor ro… no, it's an ottsel robot.

"Wow! A large mechanic Daxter!" Well said.

"And it's attacking!" Cornelius screamed and ran away, following Veger who had also ran away.

So Jak, Well, Daxter and Pecker were left to fight the ottsel robot.

Jak threw a bucket of water on it, and then it broke down.

Piece of cake baby!

**Miss.Ecofreak: well, that was weird**

**Zakura: but is it funny?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: don't ask me, ask the readers. Another ottsel (giggles)**

**Zakura: jikes.**


	13. Random happenings in Haven City

**Miss.Ecofreak: more randomness, but now we're back in Haven City**

**Answer to Something Stupid: I don't make sense either. At least not in this story:) Glad you liked my story though.**

**Answer to Red Hawk K'sani: are you done laughing now? Here's even more for you to laugh at**

**Answer to Well...Ehm...eh's fan: I have absolutely no idea. People tend to pop up from nowhere in this fic**

**Zakura: and now, here's the next chapter of Dork3**

**CHAPTER 13**

**RANDOM HAPPENINGS IN HAVEN CITY**

After the long and hard fight against Veger's ottsel robot, Jak, Daxter, Well and Pecker finally found themselves in the ruins of some city-section (I don't know the names of all the sections).

Pecker flew of, because he was not needed.

"Well this is a really ugly piece of city" Jak said, and then he noticed one house which looked completely wrecked, no wonder since the palace had fallen over it, "Hah! What a dorky looking house! Wonder who lived there?"

"That's your house Jak" Daxter commented.

"Oh… it's a nice house though" Jak said.

Then suddenly Civilian Guy appeared out of the blue.

"Civilian you old random person! What are you doing here?" Well asked.

"I am outraged!" Civilian Guy said, "I am outraged beyond words! Although I do have something to say"  
"Hey line-thief! That's my line!" Pecker yelled before flying of again.

"I have signed a contract" Civilian said, holding up a random piece of paper which in fact was a picture of a rabbit sketched by his three-year-old son, Little Guy, "Which says I am going to appear in Dork2, and Dork3! Then how come I've been absent in this story?"  
"You haven't been absent, Jak stole your gun in chapter five" Well said.

"I was just passing by! The point is! I want my big role back! If Erol hadn't killed himself I would be in the records book by now! And when I became famous you would beg me to star in the next dork-parody" Civilian complained before Jak shot him.

"Happy now? You've got your old part back" he said.

"Jay" Civilian Guy moaned.

As they left Civilian Guy bleeding on the ground the happy three friends walked towards New Haven City, a better-looking part of the city they encountered a large force field and two people with plastic bags over their heads.

The tallest person had a t-shirt saying "I miss Jak", the smallest person had a t-shirt saying "I miss Mar".

"Hi Keira! Hi Samos!" Jak said, surprising everyone by recognising the two masked people.

Keira and Samos took of the bags of their heads and looked at Jak with a puzzled expression.

"How did you know it was us?" Samos asked.

"Your t-shirts" Jak said.

Samos looked down on his shirt, "man! I knew I shouldn't have picked the one which had my name written on the inside!" he said.

"Why is there a large force field here?" Daxter asked.

"Because Veger found it pretty" Samos said, "You have to find another way in or…"  
"Hello! I'm still standing here!" Keira yelled to remind everyone she was still standing there.

"…We'll all be screwed".

"And that's a bad thing right?" Jak asked, as he was staring at the girl of his dreams, weather this was Keira, or Zakura who just happened to be standing by chewing on my ps2-remote-control (stupid rabbit) no one knows.

"That is a very bad thing Jak" Samos said, "Perhaps you should ask your father for help"  
"I've tried! But he won't return my calls" Jak said.

"How can you call him anyway? You don't have his number" Daxter said.

"Why do you always sound like you know everything about Chinese traditions?" Jak asked.

"Because I do!" Daxter answered, "I had a project about it in school".

"Hello! Keira to earth! Can anybody see me?" Keira yelled.

"Well, we better get going, let's find a way into New Haven City" Well said.

So the happy three friends walked away, ignoring Keira who was now painting on the hokage-monument… what the? **(Hokagethe most powerful ninja in Village Hidden in Leaves in Naruto)**

Finally, they found a random way into the port.

"Ah, the port. Looks just as wet as ever" Daxter said.

"If you climbed up from the water you wouldn't get so wet" Jak said.

Daxter looked down at his feet, and sure enough, the water reached his neck.

"Hmmm, I think I'm drowning" Daxter said before sinking.

Jak picked his best friend up and walked towards the Naughty Ottsel formerly known as Hip Hog Heaven.

Inside, there was a mess.

"Ew! What an ugly place! Who owns this ugly bar?" Daxter said.

"Dax, this is your bar remember?" Jak said, "Or did you catch concussion from me?"  
"No way, everyone knows chickenpox isn't contagious" Daxter said and rolled his eyes, "Stop being such a moron Jim"

Suddenly Torn appeared out of nowhere.

"Jak! My one true love! You're back!" he said.

But before he had time to give his "one true love" a welcome-kiss, Jak had gone.

After a couple of hours, Daxter and Well managed to find Jak hiding in the freedom league headquarters and dragged him back.

When they returned to Naughty Ottsel, Torn had come to his senses and were standing over a map.

"So Tornyboy, what are you doing here in Daxter's place?" Well asked.

"Drinking?" Torn said.

"Must be a commander-thing" Jak commented, remembering the old KG-commander, who was in fact sitting on a chair next to them…

"HICK!"  
…drinking.

"Fine, I'm not really drinking. We needed a southern HQ and I liked the ottsel sign outside. We use it for target practice" Torn said.

"Ha ha, I pity the guy who made that sign" Daxter said.

"Problem is, we are unable to get back to the freedom league HQ" Torn said.

"That doesn't sound too good" Jak said.

So, since the author was to lazy to write in a mission here, Torn turned on the communicator.

"Ashelin? This is Torn, Jak's back" Torn said.

"Great, but can it wait until later? I was reading this very important magazine" Ashelin said, her face appeared on the screen, and the friends could see she was in fact reading a magazine called Shonen Jump.

Jak reached into the 3d-screen and grabbed the magazine.

"Mine" He said, clutching the magazine to his chest.

Suddenly, the transmission was interrupted and Cyber-Errol's face appeared on the screen.

"Errol!" Jak said and dropped the magazine in surprise.

"That's HICK right! I live!" Errol said, he didn't have to say that, in fact it was rather pointless of him to intercept the transmission because he was three meters away from Torn, "And I am more advanHICKced than ever! My name as an extra R in it HICK and I have more polygons than a regular PS-one screen!"

Everyone gasped, except Errol who was laughing.

"How are we going to beat such an advanced enemy?" Jak said.

"It's impossible! But we have to try or we'll all die anyway" Torn said.

"But I don't want to die anyway!" Daxter said.

"No. why don't we just go back to Sandover with the kid?" Well asked.

"Because Samos and the kid took the last riftrider" Torn said, "And Keira is to busy complaining about lack of appearances to make a new one"  
"Who's Keira again?" Daxter asked before Jak hit him in the head with his Shonen Jump-magazine.

**Miss.Ecofreak: (glares at Zakura) damn it! lay of my ps2-remote control!**

**Zakura: what's your problem? It doesn't work anyway.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: gee, wonder why? Thanks to you I can't play Jak3 anymore! Why can't you find something else to chew on? (cries)**

**Zakura: humans...**


	14. Destroy the barrier and all manga, anime...

**Miss.Ecofreak: Another funny chapter up. **

**Zakura: hey! what's with the title?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: you'll see**

**Answer to Eco Girl: I don't know. I haven't been to college either (We don't have real college in Norway) so I don't really see if that would make him stupider.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: anyhow, on with the chapter.**

**CHAPTER 14**

**DESTROY THE BARRIER AND ALL MANGA, ANIME AND GAMES**

The only way the friends could hook up with the freedom league HQ was by blowing up the barrier which separated the KG-city-section from the rest of the city.

"That's just great!" Daxter said, "I had no idea Sasuke had the sharingan too!"  
Everyone looked at Daxter with a puzzled expression, only to see him reading Naruto.

"Don't you have anything better to do than to read magma?" Torn asked.

"It's manga you stupid-head!" Jak said, finding it outrageous that Torn didn't know how to pronounce the word, "Magma is melted rock, manga is a Japanese comic, there is a difference!"  
Torn pulled out his flamethrower and shot the magazine, the magazine melted.

"Now there is no difference" he said, "Now can we break the barrier?"  
"You melted my comic-book!" Daxter said shocked.

"There is too much Naruto-stuff in this fic! This is a Jak3-parody! Not a Jak-Naruto-crossover!" Torn complained, "And there is no Jak-chobits-crossover either" he said to Well who was watching Chobits at his portable TV.

"But there's a computer there who looks like a girl!" Well said before Torn turned his TV of.

"Stop that nonsense! We have a job to do!" Torn said, only to realize nobody was listening.

"Come on Jak! Use Firaga!"

"Are you nuts Daxter? You know that fire only makes them stronger!"

Torn turned around to see Well and Daxter sitting on each of Jak's shoulder, while Jak was playing Final Fantasy.

"How did I end up in this parody?" Torn muttered, he grabbed his machine gun and shot Jak's game boy to pieces.

"If you're done playing perhaps we can save the world soon? I know Seem says there's nothing to worry about but Seem is an idiot! Now knock it of!" Torn yelled.

Jak, who was still clutching the buttons of his game boy (the buttons was all he had left), started shivering.

Suddenly Seem appeared in the door wearing a t-shirt saying "Ottsels are as good as manga", "I really don't see why you make such a big deal about it" she said, "It's only a barrier, why don't you just use the air train to fly over it?"  
"She's got a point you know" Jak said, while stroking the last pieces of "Final Fantasy Tactics Advance" as if it was an injured puppy.

As everyone silenced, they could actually hear him whisper to the game.  
"Don't worry sweetheart, everything is going to be just fine" he said to it.

Torn, Well, Seem, Daxter and Errol (who was still sitting by the counter drinking) looked at Jak with a puzzled expression.

"What? Don't you see he's injured?" Jak said to them, "Call the Nintendo-hospital! He's only five months old! He can't die now!"  
Notice he's still talking about his Final Fantasy-game.

Torn, Well, Seem and Daxter decided to ignore Jak who obviously had gotten yet another brain damage.

Errol however still stared at Jak with tears in his only real eye.

"Poor thing, I know exactly what you're going through" he said, "I lost a good friend too a couple of years back, when Cornelius found it a good idea to use my game cube for target practice"

Then they both started crying and Torn went outside with the transsexual monk, the mentally confused leprechaun and the orange ottsel because he found it impossible to talk with Jak and Errol crying so loud.

"As I was saying before Jak went crazy once more, we have to use this missile to blow up the barrier" he said to the others.

"And as I was saying before Jak went crazy once more, why don't you just fly over it?" Seem asked.

"Don't you have a dark-maker satellite to study or something?" Torn asked.

"Nah, why bother?" Seem asked.

That's when Torn grabbed her by the foot and threw her back to the wasteland.

"Wow! He's a strong homosexual!" Daxter said.

"I'm not gay" Torn said.

"Riiiight" Daxter answered, remembering the welcome they got as they returned to Haven City.

He also stared at Torn's pink t-shirt which said "Marry me Praxis"

"But now we have to blow up the barrier, any volunteers to sit on this bomb as it flies around in the port?" Torn asked.

"Why the hell would anyone want to do that?" Daxter asked.

"Because if they don't they can follow Seem" Torn said.

"Good point!" Daxter said and he and Well jumped up on the missile.

Daxter actually found it quite fun to ride the missile.

He sat on top of it with a whip, whipping the missiles back and laughing like a maniac.

"Don't hit the poor missile!" Jak shouted from the port.

But Daxter couldn't hear him over the roar of the sealions in the water.

Finally after charging up the missile enough, Daxter and Well drove it towards the barrier.

Well jumped of before the missile blew up, but Daxter was to busy laughing.

"Ow, that's gotta hurt" Jak said as the missile exploded and Torn laughed his head of.

A black ottsel appeared in the ruins of the barrier.

"I'm fine" he said, "Can we do that again?"

**Miss.Ecofreak: and that's all we had for you today folks, you can go review while Zakura and I go to kill Torn.**


	15. Well's strong wings

**Miss.Ecofreak: Hi**

**Answer to Star Erao: No. there are no sea lions in the port, I just made that up :)**

**Answer to Eco Girl: He was scared to death, but in this story everyone acts a bit out of character.**

**Well's Broken Fan (broken?): he was? We can't have any of that! Errol! Get back to your drinks!**

**Errol: you don't have to ask me twice! (Runs back to his drinks)**

**Zakura: anyways, here's a new chapter where we can make fun of the homophobic Jak.**

**Jak: damn you! Who ever said I was homophobic?**

**Zakura: no one did. I just read this chapter**

**Jak: one day, I'm going to release my evil alter ego on you and you will wish you never said that.**

**CHAPTER 15**

**WELL'S STRONG WINGS**

"No" said Jak, confusing all the readers who did not remember how the last chapter ended.

"But why not? You keep driving that air train all the time!" Daxter said.

"But that's different, the barrier is broken, you can't break it more than once" Jak said.

"But I can break Torn's house" Daxter suggested when Torn grabbed a piece of the barrier and hit Daxter in the head with it.

"Hey! Stop hitting me!" Daxter cried, and ran away from Torn.

Jak and Well followed Daxter into the gun course where they found him hiding in Tess' gun.

"Daxter! You're back!" Tess said and picked her boyfriend out of her gun.

"Put me back! You don't want Torn to find me do you?" Daxter whispered, "He's hitting me in the head with a piece of the kg-section-barrier"

"Oh, you poor dear" Tess said and hugged him, "Perhaps if I give you this big gun it will make you feel better?"  
Tess gave Daxter the big gun and the ottsel was immediately trapped under it.

"Thanks Tess" he said, "But you know what? Since I'm such a kind person I am going to give this to Jak", threw the gun at Jak (how he managed to do that is a big (not as big as the gun) mystery) who immediately was trapped under it.

"Gee, thanks Dax" Jak said.

"Wow! That was one large gun! Imagine shooting Civilian Guy with that baby" Well said.

"Might be fun. If I wasn't trapped under it" Jak said.

"No problem, I can carry it" Well said and picked up the gun with ease.

Everyone (including Tess and a couple of guys who weren't in the room (aka: Homer Simpson and Cornelius)) looked at Well with a puzzled expression.

"What? Did you think I had these large wings for no reason?" Well asked.

Of course, Well as a leprechaun does not have wings, but he doesn't know that.

So everyone (still including Tess and those who weren't in the room) continued looking at Well with a puzzled expression.

"Okay, now you're pissing me of" Well said, "I don't like to be stared at with a puzzled expression by you two, Tess and two guys who are not even here. Now knock it of or I'll peck on you!"

Everyone (including Tess and those who were still absent) ignored Well and Well as the angry flut-flut he thought he was, started pecking on them.

That didn't hurt much though, Well, as a leprechaun, lacked a beak as much as he lacked wings.

So all the other guys (including Tess and the two who still weren't there) tied Well up to a log and brought him back to the Naughty Ottsel, formerly known as the Hip Hog Heaven.

"Had fun at the gun course?" Torn asked as they entered, he was wearing an abnormally large t-shirt saying "Praxis makes great pineapples" and Daxter noticed he was still hiding his metal piece behind his back and decided to pretend he wasn't there.

Unfortunately, he discovered to late that people who are absent don't whistle so he ended up hiding in Zakura's rabbit-cage to keep Torn from hitting him again.  
"Got any new missions for us Torn?" Jak asked.

"Not really, maybe we could just go see a romantic movie and sit at the back row and do…" Torn started, then he realised Jak had escaped out of the door again.

"I need that door removed" Torn thought to himself.

After Well had dragged Jak back in (Daxter was still in the cage) Torn blocked the door with the metal piece from the KG-section barrier and asked Jak for a date again.

"I would love to, but you just blocked the door so we can't get out" Jak said.  
"SHIT!" Torn said, hitting his own head until he got a concussion and started removing the blockade from the Naughty Ottsel-door while Jak and his pals were laughing at him.

After removing the blockade, Torn was too tired to go to the movies (to Jak's relief)

"You know what, I'm too tired to go to the movies" Torn said.

"What a relief" Jak said.

"So you three can just go to the KG-section and destroy the sniper cannons there" Torn said.

"Aw, why can't Homer and Cornelius do it?" Jak asked.

"Because they are not here" Torn said, "No get out before I kiss all of you!"

No one wanted to risk that.

So they ran out the door as fast as three homophobic morons could run.

Suddenly Jak stopped and glared at the author.

"Who are you calling homophobic morons?" he asked.

"Well you certainly aren't the smartest guys around and you are running from some guy who only wants to be your boyfriend" I said, "Therefore you are homophobic morons"

"Damn that stupid precursor-wannabe and that stupid little ninja-wannabe rabbit of hers" Jak muttered before the would-be-ninja-rabbit attacked him.

So after fighting the rabbit for a while, Daxter, Well and a much damaged Jak finally reached the KG-section and the sniper cannons.

"Damn! Those are some nasty looking cannons!" Jak said, "Maybe we'd be better of with Torn."  
"Are you nuts! I don't want to stay in the same room as that guy/gay anymore!" Daxter said.

"Told you they were homophobic" I said from the safety of my living room, nobody dared to attack me there because my dog was walking around in the room, barking at everyone who tried to get in.

**Zakura: Poor Torn. It's not easy being homosexual when the love of your life is damn scared of homosexuals.**

**Jak: Damn. You. I. Am. Not. Homophobic.**

**Zakura: Oh look! There's Torn!**

**Jak: AAAARGH! (runs out)**

**Zakura: moron. review folks.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: why didn't I get to say anything in the end here? I'm the autor! I want to say something! ... oh.. I just did. Never mind then.**

**Torn: where's Jak? I thought I heard his voice? **


	16. Nasty looking sniper cannons

**Miss.Ecofreak: I don't think I've updated this for a while, sorry, I've been so busy with Light Within**

**Zakura: before you were too busy with Dork2 to update Growing Up, see a pattern?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: yup. Besides, the computer crashed and my dad had to install the whole thing all over again, (soon after I had removed all my stories to my MP3-player). This chapter was finished on my own computer upstairs which sucks and have no internet-connection.**

**Zakura: but the computer mouse is good**

**Answer to Well's three-speed fan: I think the "Praxis makes great pinapples" was inspired by "Praxis makes great buns", but it's been a while since I wrote it now so I'm not really sure.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: oh well, time for a rather random chapter of Dork3**

**CHAPTER 16**

**NASTY LOOKING SNIPER CANNONS**

After throwing insults at the author and receiving eight bites from Zakura the killer rabbit, Jak, Daxter and Well decided to do what they came for, destroy the nasty looking sniper cannons.

That wasn't so easy, seeing that Jak had left his gun at the Naughty Ottsel, formerly known as the Hip Hog Heaven.

"How could you forget the morph gun, you love that thing!" Daxter said.

"Well… we had a little fight yesterday and then we broke up" Jak said, "She was sick of me hanging out with my jet-board all the time".

Daxter looked at Jak with a puzzled expression.

"The gun is a she?" he asked.

"Of course. I'm not gay" Jak said and shuddered at the thought of Torn.

Daxter decided to ignore his friend's insane love-affairs and went back to figuring out what to do with the sniper cannons.

"Do you have any idea on how we are going to destroy those?" he asked Well.

"We could go back to the Naughty Ottsel and get the morph gun, it's not that far" Well said, proving that in this situation he appeared to be the smartest guy on the team.

"But what if she's still mad at me?" Jak asked, proving he was not the smartest guy on the team.

Well and Daxter had to drag Jak back to the Naughty Ottsel where Torn was arguing with Jak's morph gun.

"Er… Torn? Why are you arguing with that gun?" Daxter asked.

"That stupid bitch tries to steal my boyfriend!" Torn said.

"What is this? A gathering of maniacs?" Daxter said, "Or has there been an outbreak of the stupidity-illness?"

"Probably the last one" Well said and showed Daxter a newspaper.  
The front page had a large picture of an idiot in it and the headline said "Haven City is insane. And if you live here, you're nuts too"

"That explains a lot, let's just get the morph gun and leave" Daxter said.

So they got the morph gun and left.

With the morph gun, destroying the sniper cannons was child's play.

"Little Jak! Stop playing around!" Jak said to his younger self.

His younger self moaned and walked back to Sandover, how amazing that may seem.

"Hm?" Seem asked.

"No, I didn't mean seem as in Seem I meant… just keep going" I said.

Back at the Naughty Ottsel, they all ate dinner (all as in Jak, Daxter, Well, Torn, Errol, (who is still in the bar drinking) and a couple of guys who weren't there) before Torn sent them out on another dangerous mission.

"Reach metal head area via sewer" Jak read out loud, then he pressed start to continue playing, "So, how are we going to do that?"  
"Hmmmm" Daxter said, and everyone agreed that was very helpful.

"Maybe we should go to the sewers" Well suggested.

"Or maybe we should go to the movies and watch Monthy Python and the Holy Grail?" Jak suggested.

"We'll go to the sewers, anything's better than watching that dreadful movie" Daxter said and walked towards the sewers, not noticing that Jak, Well and Miss.Ecofreak glared at him.

In the sewers, they encountered some creepy KG-bots.

"Hey! Isn't this the way to the metal head area? Then why are there KG-bots here?" Jak asked.

"Who knows? And how can that gigantic demon fox be placed inside such a tiny baby? That didn't make sense at all!" Daxter said.

"Hey! That's mine!" Jak said, grabbing the Shonen Jump magazine out of Daxter's hands.

"Why is there so much Naruto in this fic?" Well wondered.

"Well why not?" Naruto asked.

Everyone looked at the ninja in surprise.

"Who the hell are you?" all three asked in unison.

Naruto just looked at them with a puzzled expression.

"Are these guys' nuts?" he asked the author.

Miss. Ecofreak nodded and Naruto disappeared as sudden as he had appeared, then again he was replaced by another random Naruto-character (let's say… Hinata) and the same thing happened all over again, and again (although this time, Rock Lee appeared), and again (with Kakashi), and again until all the characters of Naruto had appeared out of nowhere and disappeared.

As the last character (the fourth hokage) appeared, Jak got sick and walked away.

Daxter and Well followed.

"Let's go find that passage to the Metal head area before another Naruto-character appears" he said.

Luckily, no other Naruoto-character appeared.

"Damn it Ratchet! Get back to your own game!"

Some people are never happy.

**Miss.Ecofreak: did this suck or did you like it? I spend a lot of days trying to write this but that doesn't mean I thought it turned out good, but I like randomness so that's how it ended up, and a lot more Naruto-characters appeared in this... I love Naruto.**

**Zakura: I love Sasuke**

**Miss.Ecofreak: tell me what you think, but don't hate me if you didn't like it. No one's perfect, I'll try to put up the nextchapter as soon as I can get over this damn writers block and stop writing complete nonsense which is not even funny... Review:)**


	17. Haven Forest lets all ignore Keira

**Zakura: hello, thanks for reading Dork3 nothing special, the story baced on a game simply called Jak3.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: I think the readers already know that.**

**Zakura: are you sure?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: possitive.**

**Answer to Thee Slushee: Naruto-charactes tend to pop out of nowhere for no good reason, you don't need to know the characters to understand the jokes... at least I don't think so. And sorry if it was too much randomness, that happens when I don't know what to write. **

**Answer to Light Eco Sage: I agree, but Daxter apparently dosen't**

**Daxter: oh, so now it's wrong to dislike Monty Python eyh?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: yup, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!**

**Answer to Something Stupid: there is always a gathering of maniacs in Haven by the looks of it, I haven't written any sane people in this fic yet.**

**Zakura: where's the fun in that?**

**CHAPTER 17**

**HAVEN FOREST**

Finally, after fighting creepy KG-robots, metal covered metalheads and a gigantic thing with a TV on its stomach (who made Jak run away screaming), the happy two friends reached the metal head area.

"Finally! Now where did Jak go?" Daxter asked.

"I think he ran back to the Naughty Ottsel" Well said.

Then suddenly they heard a loud scream and Jak ran into Daxter, pushing him into a rock.

"What's wrong buddy?" Daxter asked. "Did you see Cyber Errol?"  
"That too" Jak said. "But the scariest thing… it was horrible… Torn tried… he tried to…"  
"Kiss you?" Well suggested.

"Kill me" Jak said crying.

Daxter and Well looked at Jak with a puzzled expression.

After all this insanity they never expected Jak to be scared of something that was completely normal to be scared of.

Besides, why would Torn want to kill Jak? Must be jealousy.

"What now then?" Jak said as he went back to normal.

"I don't like the look of those eco thingies" Well said.

And as the kind and caring person Jak is, he destroyed the eco thingies.

As he destroyed the last thingy, his worst enemy jumped out of the thingy.

"BIG HUG!" Tinky Winky cheered.

Jak screamed, and then he transformed into Dark Jak, punching the teletubbi so hard it flew into the barrier which separated the Metal head-area from the port and broke it to pieces.

"Cool, now we can go back to the Naughty Ottsel, formerly known as Hip Hog Heaven without going through the sewers!" Well said happily.

Dark Jak thought about this for a second, and then Torn popped into his mind.

"Argh! Get out of my head!" Dark Jak screamed, pulling Torn out of his left ear. "You know what? Going to see Torn doesn't actually sound very tempting."  
"Need medical attention" Tinky Winky moaned.

"I have an idea! Now that we have access to Haven Forrest, we can help old green stuff with a random thing" Daxter suggested.

"Great plan Dax! Green stuff!" Well yelled.

So old green stuff/Samos came along with his daughter.

Samos was wearing a t-shirt saying "Mar and Keira makes a great couple" while Keira had a t-shirt saying "Yuck…Jak is much nicer"

"What do you want you stupid leprechaun? I was in the shower" Samos said.

"Wearing a t-shirt?" Jak asked.

"Yeah, you didn't expect me to be naked when there are girls in the house did you?" Samos asked.

Keira rolled her eyes.

"Father, you live in an apartment building. Alone" she said. "There is no woman alive who wants to enter your room voluntary, especially not while you're showering"

Jak, Keira and Daxter shuddered as they remembered the time when they were kids and sneaked into Samos' bedroom.

"Why did we come here again?" Samos asked.

"Oh yeah. We wondered whether we could help you out with something in Haven Forrest" Well said. "We don't want to go back to Naughty Ottsel because we're homophobic".

"No we're not!" Jak snapped.

"And another thing, you called me a leprechaun! Stop calling me a leprechaun!" Well complained.

"Uh, sorry. I do have a mission for you" Samos said.

"Anyone wants to know what I'm thinking? Noooo. I'm like completely invisible" Keira muttered to herself and the elephant who was listening.

That elephant was Dumbo; with his gigantic ears he heard everything.

"There are some dark eco infested plants I want you to destroy" Samos said.

"Aw, but we already did that in precursor legacy!" Jak said.

"WELL THEN YOU DO IT AGAIN!" Samos yelled so loud that Dumbo went deaf.

"Ah finally! Now I don't have to listen to Keira's complaining all day! Thanks big green!" Dumbo said.

"You're welcome" Samos said, Dumbo didn't listen of course, he was deaf.

So Jak and Daxter was forced to destroy some dark eco infested plants again, for Well it was the first time so he actually had to do everything since Jak and Daxter was sick of it.

Why you might ask? Well the last plants they destroyed had a tendency to grow back out if you didn't destroy them all, that was so annoying.

After destroying the plants, a funny precursor thingy appeared.

On it was a piece of Mar's armour.

"Cool! A piece of Mar's armour!" Jak said.

"How do you know it's a piece of Mar's armour?" Daxter asked.

"It has his name on the back" Jak said, showing Daxter the armour piece which indeed said "This is a piece of Mar's armour. If you find it, please deliver it to my house in number 5 or 7 Haven City Street. But if I died like two hundred years ago you can give it to someone who has the same name as me"

"We better find a guy named Mar and give it to him" Well said.

"Nope. I'm keeping it" Jak said, "My name resembles Mar quite a lot"  
"Hm, this precursor thing needs more artefacts" Samos said, he had appeared wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm ashamed! Mar can't even remember his own address!"

Keira was there too, still complaining over lack of appearances, she was wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm ashamed! Jak can't remember his address either!"  
Jak glared at this shirt for a while.

"I remember my address quite well!" he said.

"Oh yeah? Prove it!" Keira said.

"No problem! Its number 5 Haven City Street" Jak said.

"No stupid! It's number 7!" Keira said, "See? Jak and Mar are just as stupid. Bet they were the ones who never gave me a lead role in this… (Keeps muttering)"  
everyone ignored Keira, so she started doing silly things to get attention again.

That included throwing Samos' walking stick into the water, cutting out her own face next to the presidents in Mount Rushmore (but because she was such a bad sculptor it ended up looking like Spongebob Squarepants), castrating Jak's crocadog, watching TV, ignoring Torn, dressing up like Superman, subscribe to a woman's magazine, flushing Ehm down the toilet (Damas and Pecker cheered), joining the Sharing making an alien enter her brain so it could control her every action, avoid going to the yeerk pool so said alien died a slow and painful death, racing in the city race, die, buying herself a pet chinchilla, naming said pet chinchilla after herself, putting Keira the chinchilla in a cage with a male chinchilla, throwing Samos' walking stick into the water again, giving Jak a chinchilla baby and ran screaming around the forest in that exact order.

Did that make sense to you? Nope, didn't think so.

**Miss.Ecofreak: how was that? Random enough or to random? Well I liked this chapter better than the last one.**

**Zakura: Keira really wants attention.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: who?**

**Keira: (hits Miss.Ecofreak in the head with Samos' walking stick)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: ouch (faints)**

**Zakura: review people.**

**Keira: and don't ever ignore me again.**


	18. Jak's best friend second only to each an...

**Miss.Ecofreak: I am back!**

**Zakura: the girl with a large zit on her lip!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: hey! (punches rabbit)**

**Star Earo: odd...maybe it's because the teletubbies is a show for children while Jak3 is rated T. **

**Thee Slushee: I know and it annoys me like hell. In my opinion, Jak and Keira should have been a couple, I know some people may not agree but that's what I think. Keira has another voice actor in Jak3 (don't know why) and I've heard it's the same person making Seem's voice. The first time I heard Keira's voice in the game was on the communicator but of some reason I recognised her voice anyway (what other girl talks to Jak along wiht Samos?)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: And now, the return of some guy who Jak found very nice in Dork2**

**Zakura: ouch... that hurts.**

**CHAPTER 18**  
**JAK'S BEST FRIEND (SECOND ONLY TO DAXTER, WELL, ERROL AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO APPEARS IN THIS STORY)**

After destroying the plants, Torn appeared in the forest wearing a t-shirt saying "Hi, I'm a t-shirt. And this guy is baron Praxis' biggest fan".

"Hi Torn" Daxter said.

"Hi Daxter, hi Well. Where's Jak?" Torn asked.

"He's hiding" Well explained. "But I swore not to tell anyone".

"Why? Are terrorists after him or something?" Torn asked.

"Something like that" Well said.

"Oh… but when he comes out from wherever he's hiding, tell him that Jinx needs help wrecking stuff" Torn said and walked away crying.

As soon as Torn had gone, Jak jumped out from Well's pocket.

"Wow! My old friend Jinx needs a helping hand doing what I like best!" he said.

"Yeah, and Torn left us a cake" Daxter said.

So they ate the cake but decided to save one piece for Jinx.

And so they walked back to the city where Jinx was waiting in the new Mercedes he had stolen.

"Jinx old friend! I've brought you a cake!" Jak said.

"Shut up Jak! You know I'm allergic!" Jinx snapped.

"I've missed you too" Jak said.

Jinx grabbed the Mercedes and hit Jak in the head with it.

"Say Jinx, where's your old buddy Mog?" Daxter asked.  
"He was so annoying I pushed him of a cliff and into the water where he was eaten by a giant octopus" Jinx told.

"Lucky pig. I've always wanted to die a slow and painful death by being eaten by a giant octopus" Jak said happily.

"I thought you wanted to die in the desert?" Daxter asked.

"Yeah, that and falling into a large volcano, being bitten to death by a dog, eaten by worms, rot alive and watching a two-days marathon with Britney Spears" Jak said.

"Do you die of watching a two-day marathon with Britney Spears?" Jinx asked.

"If you place your TV in a house about to be bombed you do" Jak answered.

"Which is very much likely to happen if you listen to Britney Spears in a fic written by Miss.Ecofreak the dark precursor" Daxter said. "She's evil".

So in fear of being bombed, Jinx threw all his Britney Spears records of the same cliff he earlier had pushed his friend.

"Cool! Britney Spears-records!" Mog said happily from bellow the cliff before he was bombed.

So after doing these random things and watching a two-day marathon of Monty Python movies (to Daxter's disappointment) the happy three friends and Jinx went of to wreck the eco grid.

And so they did.

This caused the barrier between the slums and the KG-area to blow up in a large explosion which in turn caused Jak and Cornelius to smile.

"Yes! Finally we got to see a large explosion!" Jak said before he once again was knocked out by Jinx's immortal Mercedes (**note that the zoomer used by Jinx in the game can take everything! While half of the zoomers I drive blow up because I purposely crash them when I'm done using them)**

"I'm going now. Why don't you noisy persons go back to Spargus or something, you annoy me" Jinx said.

So Jinx walked away… because his Mercedes was out of gas.

"Say Jak, can we go back to Spargus now?" Well said as soon as Jak was about to wake up.

"Why? Do you miss your cousin?" Jak asked groggily.

"Hell no! I miss Sig's pudding" Well said.

So they went back to Spargus by air train because Well missed Sig's pudding.

"I really love that train" Jak said, making the morph gun glare at him and Well and Daxter looked at the gun with a puzzled expression.

Then they figured out that the author had to be nuts before they were attacked by marauders.

"You know what? I think Miss.Ecofreak is very intelligent" Jak said.

Suddenly the marauders disappeared into blackness and the happy three friends could go back to Spargus.

Nothing of interest happened there… they only had to drive out in the desert storm to find some artefacts and then they had to protect Spargus from a marauder attack after Damas had called me a "demonic stupid rat" and the rabbit a "rodent"** (Zakura: rabbits aren't rodents you stupid king of all kings. Check the internet!)**, just normal stuff normal people do on their weekends.

**Miss.Ecofreak: If there are any Britney-fans out there who thouhgt I was a bit mean towards the singer please don't hate me. We all have different interests and Britney is absolutely not one of mine.**

**Zakura: Eco dosen't hate Spears as much as her brother does though, he freaks out whenever he hears her voice (giggles)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: that's an exagarration.**

**Zakura: by the way, you're not mean to Britney, you're just bombing everyone in the fic who like her music.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: eh... king of all kings?**

**Zakura: I ran out of insults**

**Miss.Ecofreak: right... Review people.**


	19. Seem's little problem

**Miss.Ecofreak: yes! here comes another chapter with everyones favourite transexual!**

**Zakura: how do you know she's everyone's favourite? What about Haku?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Who? That odd guy from Spirited away?**

**Zakura: no, the yerk in girl clothes from Naruto**

**Miss.Ecofreak: it had to be Naruto again. Anyway, on to a non-Naruto-related thing, next chapter of Dork3**

**CHAPTER 19**

**SEEM'S LITTLE PROBLEM**

"Okay now I'm angry! I'm so angry I could scream! I'm so angry I could take that stupid precursor of yours and bang it into the wall till it died of concussion!" Seem yelled as soon as Jak and his friends came into Spargus.

She was wearing a t-shirt saying "Ottsels are almost as adorable as rabbits" and a large fruit hat.

Jak and his friends just stared at the transsexual monk for a few seconds.

Jak thought "What's wrong with her?"

Daxter thought "Why is she wearing a fruit hat?"

Well thought "What's the difference in rabbits and rodents?"

Civilian Guy thought "Doesn't this city have a decent hotel? Somewhere far away from this bitch?"

"Er… what are you talking about?" Jak asked.

"Those stupid assed marauders stole a very important artefact from the monk temple! Why do people do these things? Why are humans so evil?" Seem screamed

"Well… I thought the marauders were elves?" Daxter asked.

"I only asked why humans were evil. I didn't say marauders were humans" Seem explained, now sounding completely calm. "I was wondering why some people take little kittens and put them in bottles so they grow up inside it. That's just horrible!"

Once again, the four people in front of her stared at the monk with a puzzled expression.

"And another thing, would you please help me get the artefact back?" Seem asked and put up her biggest puppy-eyes.

"No" Jak said.

"And if I give you this pudding?" Seem asked.

"Deal!" Jak said, grabbed the pudding and drove out into the desert with his dune hopper.

As they drove out to the marauders stronghold, they crashed a lot since they were all eating pudding.

So they found the stronghold, kicked the marauders asses and got the artefact.

They put it in Well's pocket, since Well had the biggest pocket (although he is also the smallest of the three).

They went back to Spargus to find a smiling Seem with a t-shirt saying "I like dirt".

"Do you?" Jak asked, answering the t-shirt-text.

"No, but all my other shirts were wet because I used them as towels the last time I took a bath" Seem explained, "The other monks said I should get new towels but quite frankly… there's nothing to worry about so I ignored it"  
"Hm, that was very unlike you" Jak said.

"I know, I've been feeling very out of character lately" Seem said, "Maybe I'm being controlled by an alien from outer space or there's nothing to worry about, just ignore it"  
"I was being sarcastic" Jak said and walked away.

"Sarcastic? What does that mean? Hey! What about my artefact! Jak? Daxter? Well…ehm…eh? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Seem yelled as the happy three friends walked away.

But the gang figured her yelling was nothing to worry about so they ignored her.

"I wish I had a cat in a bottle" Seem said and started crying.

…

Idiot.

Jak and his friends were currently sitting in Damas' living room playing tekken tag with the father of Damas' missing son.

"Damn it! We lost again!" Well said throwing the controller at Daxter, "It's your entire fault!"  
"I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" Daxter cried as Damas and Jak high-fived.

"I never thought I would find anyone who was so good at Tekken Tag like my son" Damas said, "Are you this good at Mario Cart too?"

As they were about to turn on the Nintendo 64 Sig came barging in.

"Sig! We've got another controller, want to join us?" Jak asked.

"There's only room for four controllers" Damas commented.

"Then why the heck do you have five controllers?" Jak asked.

"I don't have time for games! There are some metal centipedes in the cave!" Sig said. "And they've got thousands of feet!"

"Well in that case it's probably the millennium bug" Daxter said, "I don't think have to worry about them, the millennium started five years ago".

"Oh… okay" Sig said, and then he too sat down to play Mario Cart with a controller that was not plugged in.

"By the way Sig, what was all that spying you did for Damas?" Daxter asked.

"I would like to know that as well" Damas said.

Sig looked at Damas with a puzzled expression, "Are you drunk again your majesty?" he asked.

"Well of course I am! I wouldn't be sitting here playing Nintendo during a war if I was sober!" Damas said.

"Okay, then there's nothing to worry about" Sig said before turning to the sober idiots, "Damas asked me to find some crappy little thing for him in Haven City".

"Crappy? What's so crappy about that?" Damas asked.

"A kid wearing diapers smells crap to me" Sig said.

"He wasn't wearing diapers you moron!" Damas said.  
"Well in that case he stinks even worse" Sig said.

"Just a question; how are you going to find a kid you've never even seen?" Jak asked.

"You know, I've been wondering about that myself" Sig said, "There are about three children in Haven City! Two of them spend all day indoors! How am I going to find them?"  
"Why didn't you look for the one who wasn't indoors?" Daxter asked

"Because I didn't know whether he was Damas' kid or not" Sig said, "In fact I didn't even know where _he_ was either!"

"You are so hopeless!" Damas said. "I knew I should have gone myself".

**Miss.Ecofreak: that was that. review!**


	20. Civilian Guy's eye finally revealed

**Miss.Ecofreak: Hi. **

**Zakura: is that all you have to say? Nice introduction**

**Miss.Ecofreak: um… fine**

**Answer to Light-Eco-Sage: that was brilliant! Can I use that?**

**Answer to Star Earo: I sure get a lot of funny questions in this fic. I have no idea who those other kids are but one of them is called Jak, though his real name is Mar. He is no longer living in Haven City though; he has gone back in time to the old Sandover Village and later got thrown out.**

**Answer to Thee Slushee: er… I'm not really into Tekken that much, I've played it like once or twice but I don't know their names, sorry. And okay, Hi Zakura.**

**Zakura: hello. **

**Miss.Ecofreak: now for another chapter… with a fairly odd headline**

**CHAPTER 20**

**CIVILIAN GUY'S EYE FINALLY REVEALED**

"Hah! Got you again!" Jak said.

"It's only because you took the fattest character!" Daxter complained.

The happy five (including Sig and Damas) were still playing Mario Cart 64 in Damas' castle with only four controllers.

"Say Jak. Why don't we go out and look for those artefacts old green stuff told us to find?" Well asked.

"Do we have to? He said I was unable to remember my own address!" Jak said.

"1. Samos didn't say that, Keira did. 2. it's the truth Jak, accept it" Daxter said.

"Stupid truth" Jak muttered, but he did follow his friends on the quest to find the artefacts.

The quest started down in Kleiver's garage.

They found Kleiver playing poker with a sewer rat.

Kleiver was almost naked and the rat had his clothes, lots of artefacts and precursor orbs laying beside her (yup, it's a female-rat)

"Hi Kleiv, whazzup?" Jak asked.

"Do not disturb, I'm about to win" Kleiver whispered, "I need concentration."

The sewer rat looked at him with an animal-like look on her face, and then she ate one of her cards and threw the rest on the floor **(Miss.Ecofreak: I have absolutely no idea what the rules in poker are, now that's said)**

"DAAAAAMMMMNNNN! LOST AGAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNN!" Kleiver screamed and gave the sewer rat his underpants.

"So… what do you want my friends?" he asked our heroes.

Said heroes turned away or in Well's case, pulled his cap over his head because Kleiver was now completely naked.

Kleiver just looked at them with a puzzled expression.

"What? Why is the sewer rat wearing my underpants on her head?" he asked.

"Because..." Civilian Guy started. "You're naked"

"And I feel good about it too! It's completely natural so STOP LOOKING AWAY!" Kleiver yelled so Civilians hair flew back, and for the first time ever revealing his eyes (his hair always covers his eyes).

That didn't exactly give Kleiver the response he wanted because now everyone (including the random guy himself) looked at Civilian Guy's eyes which were star shaped, and yeah, he had only one.

Kleiver glared at them all, and then he stole Civilian Guy's clothes making everyone turn away from Civilian (who now had put his hair in place once again covering his only eye) and look at Kleiver who looked very stupid wearing skinny Civilian Guy's clothes.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Kleiver said, while he was having trouble breathing because he was wearing too tight clothes.

"Err… You see… we are looking for some very special artefacts" Jak said.

"Oh, I sold those to some metalheads last week" Kleiver said and walked away, leaving Jak and co to wonder how he knew exactly what artefacts they were looking for.

They decided to ignore that and went out to find the metalheads.

And they did find them.

"Hi metalheads! We're looking for the artefacts you got from Kleiver, can we have those?" Jak asked the metalheads.

All the metalheads glared at him.

"Aw… why not?" Jak asked.

All the metalheads glared at him.

"I'll give you my new golf ball" Jak said.

All the metalheads glared at him.

"I'll give you one of Praxis's home-made buns, they're great" Jak said.

"Praxis is dead" a metalhead named Annie said.

And then all the metalheads glared at him.

"I'll avoid killing you" Jak said.

All the metalheads glared at him.

Jak killed the metalheads.

"They asked for it" he told his friends.

"Great work Jak! You got the artefacts!" Samos said sounding excited.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Jak asked.

"I'm coming to show you my new shirt, isn't it great?" Samos asked, he was wearing a t-shirt saying "Mar has such a cute dog".

Jak really felt like eating the shirt, but he didn't, it was probably soaked with Samos' sweat already and that does not taste good.

Jak knew this better than anyone, as a kid he had a habit of eating people's clothes for no apparent reason.

The neighbours said he wasn't given enough to eat, but those who knew Jak (aka: Daxter, Samos, Keira and Santa Claus) knew it was just because he was nuts.

"What now then?" Jak asked.

"Let's go check out the precursor telescope" Samos said.

And so they got to Haven forest in record time and looked into the telescope.

"What do you see?" Samos asked.

"I see a large chocolate chip… or maybe it's a gigantic purple space ship" Jak said.

"Of course it's a gigantic purple space ship you yellow-haired light ecofreak!" a precursor's voice said annoyed. "That thing is the seed of our destruction! (Whatever that means). The dark makers were once precursors, but their exposure to dark eco changed them, now they just like to wreck things. "

"Hey! That's my job!" Jak complained.

"So they destroy worlds? Who cares? They are probably just here to kill all life on Mars. Nothing to worry about" a feminine voice said.

Everyone who has ever appeared in this fic (except Seem) turned around and noticed Seem was standing behind them, she was wearing a t-shirt with the intelligent text: "How can so many people be standing on such small platform?"

"Don't mind her. She's a transsexual loony" Damas informed the Jak3+Naruto-characters **(Miss.Ecofreak: when I said everyone who had appeared I meant everyone!)**

"What the heck are we doing here anyway? This whole fic is troublesome" Shikamaru said (just another Naruto-character, favourite word: troublesome)

"I can fix that" Jak said, then he punched Naruto so hard he flew into Sakura, who flew into Sasuke, who flew into Ino (who cheered), Ino in turn flew into Akamaru (a tiny dog) and so it went on until all the Naruto-characters+ Seem had flown into each other and fallen of the platform.

"I'm glad that's over. I hope we won't see those ninjas ever again" Jak said.

**Miss. Ecofreak: Dream on Jakey-boy. (Evil laugh)**

**Naruto: why does Jak hate us that much? What have we ever done to him?**

**Jak: stealing the show**

**Luke Skywalker: don't mind him. he hates everyone who appears in his stories who aren't supposed to be there.**

**Naruto: Well...Ehm...eh isn't supposed to be here so why can he stay?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: he had no where else to go. Anyway, review people. **


	21. Per is humiliated, a lot

**Miss.Ecofreak: phew, finally finished with that chapter. **

**Answer to Eco Girl: well, nobody said Jak was sane in this ficdid they:)**

**Zakura: this entire story proves the opposite.**

**Answer to Meowen: yeah. Fan Fiction should have made a new section for making comic books. I really liked the second chapter of Dork2 where Jak yells "Fine HELLO!", that looked a lot better in pictures than in the story.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: but now, here's another chapter of Dork3. Where Veger is being humiliated a lot more than he does in the game**

**Veger: IT'S VE... hey, she said it right.**

**CHAPTER 21**

**VIGER IS HUMILIATED, A LOT**

Jak's dream did not come true.

In fact, the next day he entered Naughty Ottsel, he noticed Kakashi was sitting next to Errol reading Make Out Paradise.

Errol was reading over Kakashi's shoulder, until Kakashi got mad at him for puking all over his book so he kicked his ass.

"That was so great" said Cornelius who of some reason was in the bar. "I'm starting to like these ninjas"

Jak did not want to start an argument with Cornelius, seeing he was one of the few people in this city who actually dared to start an argument with Jak, so he walked back out with his two friends.

They decided to go to The Freedom League HQ instead, there, Ashelin was waiting.

"Hi Jak, nice of you to drop by" she said without looking up, she was busy sewing a t-shirt saying "Your ass is happy", (it was supposed to say "Your assignment is an unhappy one" **The one who knows where that line comes from wins nothing at all!**) But since the shirt was not yet finished, this was all it said.

Jak looked around at the rest of the random characters who were in the room.

Sure enough, Cornelius was here too, he was reading Weekly Shonen Jump in Japanese, Jak found this weird because he knew all too well that Cornelius was an expert in ten different languages, but that did not include Japanese, Errol knew Japanese, and there was no way Cornelius wanted to know something his brother knew.

Next to Cornelius, Seem was sitting in a wheel chair. You didn't expect her to fall from that pillar unhurt did you?

She was wearing a t-shirt saying "Ottsels makes great bandages" on top of a suspiciously looking bandage.

Luckily for Jak, there were no Naruto-characters in the HQ.

But Jak was still a bit freaked out because right next to the door, Luke Skywalker was sitting in a large sofa. The freaky thing about that was Jak was sure he killed Luke back in Dork2, was he a ghost? He also felt a bit jealous because Luke was wearing a t-shirt saying "Darth Vader is my father".

"Why does Luke know his father and not me?" Jak asked his best friend.

"How the heck should I know?" Jinx answered.

"Er… I wasn't really talking to you" Jak said.

"What? Does this mean you don't like me anymore?" Jinx asked and ran out the door crying.

Everyone in the room (which also included Kor who thought it was about time he got an appearance in this fic seeing that he didn't really die in Dork2) looked at the door where Jinx had just left with a puzzled expression.

_Okay?…_ Jak thought.

_That sure was weird,_ Daxter thought.

_What was he doing here? _Ashelin thought.

_What the hell is this? Why can't these Japanese dudes ever write English?_ Cornelius thought.

_Why did Ashelin pull this t-shirt over my bandages? _Seem thought, _oh well; it's probably nothing to worry about._

_Jak is very close now,_ Luke thought_, if I just take out my light sabre now I can cut his head of._

_What a curios looking door_ Kor thought, he really hadn't noticed Jinx at all.

"Oh well, let's just ignore Jinx's insaneness and start planning how to save the world" Ashelin said.

"Aw, do we have to?" Seem asked. "It's not like it's about to get destroyed anyway".

"Yup" Ashelin said. "I think Jak should do it".

"What? Me?" Jak asked.

"What? Him?" asked Veger who suddenly was standing in the room.

"Exactly. And Veger… you're fired" Ashelin said.

Veger cried, but he did feel happily surprised that both Ashelin and the author remembered his name for once.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't like you" Ashelin said. "You're dumb and stupid, and we all know you're still using diapers". She stopped and thought for a moment. "Oh wait, that was the thing you told me not to tell everyone. Oh well, now they know anyway".

Veger glared at her.

"I know something humiliating about Vegass as well!" Well shouted. "He's gay!"

"Hey! That's not very nice!" Torn yelled, where he came from I have no idea.

"And he's got an ugly name" Daxter said.

"Besides, Cyber Errol looks better than you" Cornelius said. "Now wait. Forget that. No one is uglier than Errol, but you're close".

"Stop it! I'm telling mom!" Veger cried, and then he ran out to tell his mom.

Five minutes later Veger's mom came in.

"Wow. I really didn't expect an old hag like Veger to have a mom who's still alive" Jak said.  
"Veger is male. He's no hag" Daxter remarked.

"You've been really mean to my son! Now I'm going to tell your fathers!" Veger's mom said and walked out to tell their fathers.

Now that was no use.

Jak never knew his father so nobody else did either.

Ashelin's father was still lying underneath a large bullet in the construction site and everyone agreed he looked pretty much dead.

Torn's father had never appeared in the game so everyone assumed that meant he didn't have any, same goes for Kor and Seem.

Well's father was too busy running around in the forest looking for a mate cause he thought he was a dwarf rabbit.

Unfortunately for him there were no wild rabbits near Haven City so he spend his days mating with logs, wild ottsels, rocks, wild rabbits, leprechauns and Seem.

Daxter's dad died like two hundred years ago.

Cornelius father couldn't care less, he was used to get complains about his sons' (both of them) behaviour.

Luke had killed his father… probably to avoid situations like this.

Naruto's father… Wait a minute! Naruto wasn't even there! Oh well, better stop the chapter here before some people laugh themselves to death (or get bored to death).

**Miss.Ecofreak: did you like that? I hope you did cause what's the point writing a story which nobody likes?**

**Zakura: sayonara**


	22. Jealousy

**Miss.Ecofreak: Hello people of planet earth (or any other planet if you of some reason don't live on earth) **

**Answer to Thee Slushee: Sooooorrrrrryyyyyyyy! I've hit a major writers block (again) and can't seem to...**

**Seem: (appears out of nowhere)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: er... not you Seem. What I was about to say was that I can't figure out a way to continue Light Within. But I promise I'll update it as soon as possible (I'm sick of waiting too! Argh! This is frustrating!)**

**Answer to Light Eco Sage: Correct! I really love that movie:) **

**Answer to Bobette The Builder: Correct! I really love that movie:)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: both these readers will find nothing from me in their mailbags in the nearest future**

**Zakura: how is that possible? You don't have their addresses**

**Miss.Ecofreak: doesn't matter, they're not getting anything anyway. I just like to put in quizes in my stories and have no way to give out prices:) Oh wait! I have one price you can get, here comes the next chapter of Dork3**

**Zakura:... which you will get to read even if you didn't answer at all... stupid.**

**CHAPTER 22**

**JEALOUSY**

It was a beautiful Sunday morning in the city of Haven, Jak waked up to the sound of pain and suffering, as usual.

As he entered the HQ, he was wearing a large robe so Torn wouldn't recognise him.

"Hi Jak, nice of you to drop by" Ashelin said without even looking up, she was busy sewing a t-shirt with the text "I have a huge rod", it was supposed to say "I have a huge rodent problem" (once again the line is inspired by Austin Powers in Goldmember).

Zakura The Killer Rabbit found this line very disturbing, for her, and anyone of the other five hundred rabbits who of some reason was in the room, being called a rodent was a large insult.

Torn wasn't in the room, so Jak decided it was safe to take his robe of.

"What's up Mimi? I mean Ashelin?" Jak said. "Stupid Damas and his stupid concussion-causing throne" he muttered.

"Not much, I'm just sewing shirts as usual" Ashelin said. "Do you want one?" she held up a shirt with the text "I like Errol just as much as I like Praxis's home-made buns".

"Er… I just realised I have an eco vehicle to steal, bye!" Jak said and ran out, stepping at Well and Daxter to avoid stepping at the rabbits.

He was afraid that if he did step on the rabbits, he would be arrested by a wild-life-officer for animal abuse.

Daxter and Well was obviously not considered to be animals in his eyes.

"Should we go after him?" Well asked.

"Nah… Let's just stay here and watch TV" Daxter said.

And so they did.

Ashelin kept sewing, Kor sued her for using a picture of him on one of her shirts, Daxter and Well watched U2 on TV, Cornelius was reading his shonen jump magazine (still not understanding what was written in it) and Keira ran aimlessly around in the room trying to get attention.

In other words, it was a normal day at the Freedom League HQ.

But then, something unusual happened.

The door opened and Jak ran in as fast as he could, hiding behind Ashelin.

Soon after, Torn came in wearing a t-shirt with the text "I love Praxis."

"Where did Jak go?" he asked.

"He's hiding in my hair" Ashelin explained, and then she looked up to see what shirt Torn was wearing. "Oh, you're wearing the very first shirt I gave you"

Torn looked down at his shirt as if he had never seen it before.

"I am?" he asked. "I was sure he had burned it… I mean I was sure it was in the washing machine".  
"He's scaring me" Jak said form behind Ashelin (he was never in her hair, Ashelin was just being a filthy liar)

"Aw, don't worry sweetheart. I'll protect you" Ashelin said, and petted Jak on his head as if he was a scared puppy, he was whimpering like one.

Daxter noticed his best friend was upset, so he went over to pet him as well while Torn stared at them.

"And they're calling me gay?" he said to the camera, as animated characters often do.

Then he turned to Daxter who was giving Jak a big hug. "By the way Daxter" he said. "Jak used your ottsel statue as a decoy while fleeing from some missiles and blew it up".

Daxter stared at Torn for a moment, and then he slapped Jak on the head.

"Bad elf! Don't ever do that again" he said.

"No problem. The statue is already broken so how am I supposed to break it again?" Jak said.

"HEY! I'M HERE TOO YOU KNOW!" no one special shouted **(Try to guess who that was)**

"Did anyone hear anything just now?" Jak asked.

"No. what were we supposed to hear?" Ashelin asked.

"It kind of sounded like someone shouting "Hey. I'm here too you know" but I'm probably just imagining stuff" Jak said before a large piece of Lego hit him in the head.

"You're insane, that's the reason" Torn said.

"I thought you loved Jak" Daxter said.

"I did love him. Once. But he broke my heart by going out with that hore of a morph gun he has!" Torn said sounding offended, "I'm trough with you Jak! Go on marry that stupid gun! See if I care!" then he ran away crying.

"Yes! Finally he's gone!" Jak said and threw his morph gun in the wall.

"Hey! I thought you loved your gun" Daxter said.  
"What do you think I am? Nuts? I only pretended to love it so that Torn would break up with me" Jak said.

"Oh. Thank god, we thought you were insane" Daxter said.

Then everyone left the room for no apparent reason besides Jak.

He ran over to his gun and picked it up as if it was his baby.

"I would never leave you my love" he whispered. "Why can't they understand the way we feel? They just don't trust what they can't explain. I know we're different but deep inside us we're not that different at all"** (This was a part of the song "You'll be in my heart" by Phil Collins, I love that song)**

Then Jak walked out and the room was left empty… and boring… how troublesome.

**Jak: dude, who invited him? (stares at Shikamaru who of some reason is sitting in the couch watching TV)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: probably the same person who invited you. get out!**

**Zakura: that was all we had for you today. Remember to leave a review and...**

**Miss.Ecofreak: four more reviews and Dork3 will be my story with the most reviews! (Currently Dork2 has most of the reviews)**

**Zakura: ...whatever. Sayonara.**


	23. A Chain Saw Massacre Starring A Dwarf Ra...

**Miss.Ecofreak: hello. Before we begin I would like to point out that all events and characters in this story are entirely fictional. Anything that resembles real life events or persons is coinsidence...**

**Zakura: ...or extremely exagarrated.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: a lot.. (giggles)**

**Answer to Thee Slyshee: yup. Who else wouldcomplain about everyone ignoring her? And what a good idea! (Shoots writers block) damn! Missed! Who would think one story would be so hard to write when I already have the ending all planned out?**

**Answer to Star Erao: Santa? Why would he be in there, there are no nice kids in Jak3 (giggles) the last moved away in Jak2. :) And Zakura? Would you please remove that Barbie doll?**

**Zakura: why me?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: because I have to intruduce the next chapter. Here's a random chain saw massacre starringa not-so-random dwarf rabbit..**

**CHAPTER 23**

**A CHAIN SAW MASSACRE WITH A DWARF RABBIT**

Jak poked his head in the door to the Naughty Ottsel and had a look around.

He saw Errol, Torn, Luke Skywalker (which still freaked him out), Daxter, Well…ehm…eh, Miss.Ecofreak the dark precursor, but no Naruto-characters.

He let out a sigh of relief and walked in, only just avoiding to get chopped in half by Luke's light sabre.

"Hi Torn, how's it going?" Jak asked casually.

Torn glared at him for a moment.

He was still mad at Jak for dumping him, but decided to drop it for now.

"We're under attack" he told Jak.

"By who?" Jak asked.

"I'm not sure, it's either the metalheads or the kg-bots or it's Miss.Ecofreak's killer rabbit" Torn said, "You better go out and check it out".

Jak walked out to see, his worst fears were confirmed.

It was Zakura the Killer Rabbit, and she had gotten hold of a gigantic chain saw and was cutting things in half with it while Civilian Guy was running after her.

"Stop the thief! She's stolen my chain saw!" Civilian yelled.

Jak shuddered.

"Er… Maybe we should just stay inside, I'm sure Civilian Guy can handle it" he said.

"Some hero you are" Luke snarled.

"Oh yeah? I don't see you go out there and catch the killer rabbit!" Jak said.

Luke flinched.

"K-killer rabbit? WE'RE ALL DOOMED!" then he dived under his table.

"Some hero you are" Daxter muttered, then he followed Luke under the table along with Torn, Well, Jak and Errol.

"And so the killer rabbit came in" I narrated.

Jak stuck his head out to check the door.

"Nope, I'm just teasing yah" I said and laughed before taking another sip of my Coca Cola.

"You really enjoy watching us suffer do you?" Jak asked.

"Yup" I answered, and dipped a chocolate into the coke.

Then the door opened and Civilian Guy came in, he was carrying Zakura under his arm.  
"I believe this is yours" he said, dropping the worn-out killer rabbit into my arms.

"Thanks for returning her" I said. "Now get out before you die a slow and painful death for no apparent reason".

"You can't do that" Civilian remarked.

"I am the author, I can do whatever I want" I said.

Civilian Guy looked at the cola I was holding, and the chocolate I had dipped in it, and the little bits of sugar I had put in it to make it even unhealthier (**This is extremely exaggerated, coke has enough sugar as it is)**

He found it quite weird that I still had teeth; then again, he figured precursor-teeth are probably stronger than regular human or elf-teeth.

Then he walked out, so he wouldn't get killed in a nasty way.

Jak popped up from under the table again.  
"You know, this hasn't a lot to do with Jak3" he said.

"Who ever said it did?" I asked.

"It's a Jak3-parody" Jak reminded me.

"Oh… right. Then you better get out there. There are some KG-bots waiting" I said.

"Why did I have to open my big mouth?" Jak sighed, and walked out to stop the KG/metalhead-attack.

**Miss.Ecofreak: that was all we had for you today, please review, and don't put more sugar in a coke. That is pointless**

**Zakura: (pant) this doll is heavy**

**Miss.Ecofreak: fine, just put it in Damas' cage, I'm sure he won'd mind.**


	24. A misleading title

**Miss.Ecofreak: I'm back! Did anyone miss me?**

**(silence)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: no one?**

**(silence)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Zakura?**

**Zakura: huh? I was busy reading Shonen Jump. Did you say something?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: never mind**

**Answer to Meowen (did you miss me then?): He sure does, but I think Jak might hate the shirts even more, he runs away and hides whenever Ashelin tries to give him one. And later it will turn out that Cornelius hates them just as much.**

**Zakura: (reads plans for last chapters) oh? Do you really think so?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: This chapter has elements of South Park in it...**

**Jak: NOT AGAIN? Why can't you ever stick to the old Jak3-characters?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (smirk) Where's the fun in that?**

**CHAPTER 24**

**PINKEYE… or is it the living dead?**

Defeating the metalheads and the Kg-bots turned out to be harder than Jak thought.

It might have been easier if he stopped yelling "BEWARE OF DARK ECO FREAKS!" whenever he got close enough to kill them.

After doing so for like three hours, Daxter figured he might as well put Jak back into Damas' maniac-cage (after removing the life-sized Barbie-doll Zakura had put in it) while Well and Daxter took Civilian Guy's chain saw.

"Hey! It's mine!" Civilian yelled as he ran after Well and Daxter.

"No it's not! I (chain) saw it first!" Zakura yelled as she ran after Civilian.

"Running's good. Running makes fat go away. Too hyper. Have to run" Ehm yelled as he ran after Zakura.

"Stop Ehm…wait! Think I've got it! No, forgot it! He's stolen my coke!" Miss.Ecofreak yelled as she ran after Ehm, but soon she collapsed on the ground (there's much energy in sugar, too bad it runs out quickly) soon after, Ehm collapsed as well.

Well and Daxter ignored the persecutors and kept chopping metalheads and KG-bots in half.

Then suddenly a guy with sticky puffy eyes appeared, he looked rather… brainless.

"What's your problem?" Daxter asked.

"Piiiiiinkeeeeeeye" the zombie-guy said.

Daxter looked at him with a puzzled expression for a moment, and then three kids dressed for snow appeared and chopped the guy in half.

"Hm, that was random" Daxter said as the kids had disappeared

"Did you see how fat that kid was?" Well asked.

"I'm not fat! I'm just big boned!" the fat kid yelled from wherever he was.

Then they heard another kid yell "Oh my god! I killed Kenny!"

"Dude, that was even more random" Daxter said.

Suddenly Jak drove in on a zoomer.

"Hey! How did you get out?" Daxter asked.

"I called the fire brigade. But you'll never guess what I saw on the way here" Jak said. "I saw some kids having a funeral, and then they went of to eat candy at some "Cartman's" place and watch dirty pictures of his mom. And then the kid in the grave rose from the death"

"And? What's so weird about that?" Daxter asked.

"That one they called Cartman was really fat" Jak explained.

"What a scary experience" Well said. "And I was hoping Miss.Ecofreak would stop making people from other series come in here".

Before his two friends had time to comment, Forrest Gump ran by.

"That's too much to hope for" Jak explained.

"Let's go to the gun course!" Daxter said.

"Aw! Again? You and Tess will only spend your time hugging Jak said.

"No we won't! We'll be kissing a lot too!" Daxter said.

Reluctantly, Jak and Well came with Daxter to the gun course.

Daxter didn't waste any time, he ran over to Tess and hugged her.

"Daxter! You're back!" Tess said. "This place is far too dangerous. We need our own little place on the country, a large pink house which looks like a mushroom (smurf house), with a large bed for me, and a tiny cage on the side of the house for you"  
"Sounds like heaven" Daxter said.

"Hey! What about me?" Jak asked.

"Oh… you can share this cage with Daxter" Tess said, holding up a tiny hamster cage.

"Wow! Dreams do come true!" Jak said. "I had almost lost hope when I didn't die in the desert"

"And me? You never mentioned me" Well said.

"Of course. I didn't forget you little bearded flut-flut. You can share the gigantic house with me" Tess said,

"Weak" Well said. "And I wanted the hamster cage.

"I need it more!" Pepper the hamster said.

"What would you need it for? You're a hamster!" Daxter said.

The hamster soon figured there was no use talking sense to this idiots so he walked away feeling miserable, then he figured he might as well move into Damas' cage instead, that was bigger anyway.

**Jak: Cartman sure is fat**

**Kyle: he sure is**

**Stan: yeah**

**Kenny: (mutters)**

**Cartman: HEY!**

**Damas: what is that hamster doing in my cage?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (snores)**

**Zakura: If you think Cartman is fat, please review. If you think Cartman has anorexia (yeah right), please review. If you don't know who Cartman is, review anyway.**


	25. Some place to place a switch

**Miss.Ecofreak: wow! Dork3 has got exactly 100 reviews! That's more than any other fic I've written, and we're far from finished yet!**

**Zakura: fun fun fun**

**Answer to Red Hawk K'sani: hah! Did you hear that Jak? Not everyone is so angry at other fictional characters popping out of nowhere.**

**Jak: well Red Hawk is a laz... (falls down into a hole which just randomly popped out of nowhere)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: don't be mean. You know what will happen. **

**Zakura: Sorry about that. Jak is just a bit angry that Miss.Ecofreak is screwing up a perfectly good story**

**Miss.Ecofreak: screwing up? I'm just making it a bit... funnier**

**Zakura: insane is the word**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Very funny. Now here comes another funny...**

**Zakura: INSANE**

**Miss.Ecofreak:... chapter of Dork3... nothing special**

**CHAPTER 25**

**SOME PLACE TO PLACE A SWITCH**

After talking to Tess the happy three friends went to talk to Ashelin instead.

"Hi Jak, nice of you to drop by" Ashelin said without even looking up, yes she was indeed sewing another t-shirt which currently had the text "Please eat some shit", (it was supposed to say "Please eat some shitake mushrooms")

**Zakura: don't you ever make up things of your own?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: aw, do I have to?**

"This is getting old" Jak said. "Hey, do you have any insane missions for us today?"

"Nope" Ashelin said. "Unless you want to help me sew these shirts"  
"No thank you" Jak said.

"I have a dangerous mission for you!" Samos said, appearing out of nowhere wearing a t-shirt saying "Don't misread the subtitles making it seem that Japanese people are saying things that are dirty… and oh yeah! I love Mar"

"Do you see that war factory out there?" Samos asked.

"You mean the one Cornelius is trying to spit at?" Jak asked.

"Yup. That one" Samos said.

"No. I don't see it" Jak answered.

Samos pulled Jak over to the window and knocked Cornelius who pointlessly tried to spit at his brother's new toy out of the window so he fell like a hundred inches or so.

"That war factory!" the old sage said pointing at the gigantic crimson red war factory.

Jak stared at it as if he had never seen it before and that was strange since it had been there all since he returned to Haven and it wasn't really hard to miss.

"That's a nasty looking war factory" Daxter said. "So what are we going to do? Knock on the door and ask if Errol wants to come out and play?"  
The door opened and Cornelius came in sitting in a wheelchair pushed my Seem who was also in a wheel chair (and wearing a shirt with the text "Ottsels are good at pushing wheel chairs") pushed by a random ottsel.

"Or you can ask if he wants this poison snake I got for his birthday" Cornelius said.

"You haven't given him that yet? I thought you found it a year ago" Jak said.  
"I did, but Shadow confiscated it and took it to an animal shelter, saying I was abusing it. It took me years to get it back!" Cornelius complained, confusing everyone by saying years when only one year had passed.

"Hey! You're not supposed to keep animals! You can't take care of them!" Samos complained.

"Why the not?" Cornelius asked, using Jak's favourite word.

"You fed your pet bird to the snake!" Samos said.  
"No I didn't! It was Kate's bird! I just stole it" Cornelius said stubbornly.

Up until now Jak had actually been on Cornelius side but now…

"You stole my sister's pet bird and fed it to your snake?" he asked.

"No. I fed it to Daxter's snake" Cornelius said.

"Oh. Then it's alright" Jak said relieved.

Zakura sighed in relief too, but only because Cornelius had never taken Kate's rabbit and fed it to the snake (he wasn't able to, because Kate's rabbit was killed by a dog 17 years earlier)

"Er… can I tell you the mission soon?" Samos asked.

"Just tell, we're listening" Well said as he was reading Shonen Jump in gibberish.

**Zakura: funny. I never knew anyone gave out magazines in that language**

"Okay. We need to destroy the war factory. But to do that we have to get into the power station to turn of its eco shield" Samos explained. "The switch to open the Power Station door is in the sewers"

Everyone in the room plus a couple of guys who weren't in the room but were following the conversation on their hidden camera looked at Samos with a puzzled expression.

"Why the is the switch in the sewers?" Cornelius asked.

"Hey! Is your favourite word too?" Jak asked in surprise.

"I don't give a what Cornelius' favourite word is. Why would anyone in their right mind put a switch in the sewers? Isn't it sewer in the sewers?" Daxter asked.

Jak sighed.

"We've been through this before Dax. OF COURSE ITS SEWER IN THE SEWERS!" he yelled.

"Since when have there ever been anyone in this fic who are in their right mind?" Samos asked.

"That's not the point. The switch was in the sewers in the original too" Miss.Ecofreak stated, surprising everyone by the fact that she was there and had stopped writing the story in first-person.

"It's to make the game harder" Samos said. "Now. All of you. GET OUT OF HERE!"

So. All of them. Got out of there.

Except Keira who was busy being ignored and wearing a t-shirt saying "Jak ignores me".

Next to her was Shikamaru being ignored as well, he was continuing Keira's t-shirt-writing by wearing one that said "How troublesome"  
next to him again Sakura, Zakura and Ino was standing wearing identical t-shirts saying "Whining bitch. Sasuke has _always_ ignored me and you don't hear me complain"

And there was Sasuke, being ignored and ignoring everyone else in return.

Wow! There sure are a lot of people in the HQ right now who are being ignored!

**Zakura: do you speak gibberish?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: blib blab blob**

**Zakura: obviously.**

**Jak: (climbs up from the hole) okay, WHAT is Ino, Sakura, Sasuke and Shikamaru doing in the freedom league HQ?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: the same thing as Keira was doing. Being ignored.**

**Jak: Keira was there? (Gets an anvil thrown at him and falls back into the hole)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Feel free to speak your opinion.**

**Keira: (holds another anvil in case Jak ignores her again) what is that supposed to mean?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: review guys! And I'll make sure Jak doesn't insult anyone again.**


	26. Vin is alive! Well actually he's not

**Miss.Ecofreak: So... here we go again**

**Answer to Meowen: (Miss.Ecofreak is wearing a t-shirt saying "No way! Monthy Python is the coolest:)!") I'm glad you liked it. I really enjoy putting characters from all over the place into a story where they don't usually belong.**

**Jak: (glares at Miss.Ecofreak)**

**Answer to Light-Eco-Sage: I know! And it drives me insane! I had always expected Jak and Keira were going to kiss in Jak3 seeing they never got to do it in Jak and Daxter or Jak2 (glares at Daxter)**

**Daxter: what? is that my fault?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (ignores Daxter) but noooo. What's the big deal? Why is Keira being ignored like that?**

**Keira: yes! why?**

**Zakura: hey! Now I'm feeling ignored! Can we start now?**

**CHAPTER 26**

**VIN IS… SOME WEIRD THING**

"I'm going to sew the person who put the switch down here!" Jak said as he stepped in shit again.

"It would be easier if you stopped walking _in _the sewer-water" Daxter said lazily. "Besides, you spelled sue wrong".

"No. I meant what I said. I want to sew them onto to a teddy bear and then throw mentioned teddy bear into the house of the teletubbies. They're going to be so freaked out", Jak laughed at the thought of screaming teletubbies.

"And I thought he wanted to get revenge on the guy making the switch" Daxter whispered.

"You know Jak hates the teletubbies more than he hates anyone else" Well whispered back.

Finally the happy three friends found the strangely placed switch.

As Jak walked up to it, he suddenly heard a strange voice.

"This scene really shows Jak's inner struggle and… nah, who am I kidding?" the voice said.  
"What was that?" Daxter asked.

"The audio commentary" Miss.Ecofreak explained. "I found it quite amusing".

"Stupid precursor" Daxter muttered when suddenly a metalhead came by and bit his tail for no apparent reason.

"What now?" Jak asked as he pulled the switch.

"Now we have to find the cypher in the eco grid" Well said.

"What the is that?" Jak asked.

"I don't know, but that's what the missions list say" Well explained.

"Oh well, let's go see Vin" Jak said.

"Vin's dead" Daxter stated.

"Whatever. Let's go see him anyway" Jak said.

Then they went to the power station to see Vin.

And to their (except Jak's) surprise, they did see Vin, or a holographic projection of him.

"Vin! You're a multi-layered-hyper linking digi - memic -bio- construct super clocked mega memory construct!" Jak said (**Impressed I was able to write that? That's what Vin actually said!**) making everyone around him faint in surprise because he was able to tell whatever Vin was.

"Er… yeah" Vin/the multi-layered-hyper linking digi - memic -bio- construct super clocked mega memory construct said. "What do you want?"  
"We want something in the eco grid that can help us get in to the war factory" Daxter said.  
"Oh… I can help you! Or actually. No" Vin said.

"Why not?" Well asked.

"Where's the fun in playing if I give you all the stuff you need? You need to play some Pacman-thing to get it" Vin said.

"Why the hell do we need to do that?" Daxter asked.

"BECAUSE I SAY SO!" Vin yelled. Wow, he sure is more courageous as a multi-layered-hyper linking digi - memic -bio- construct super clocked mega memory construct.

Daxter, shivering, decided to play the pacman-thing, luckily he had just bought the "Nes-classic" edition of Pacman and trained a lot so he managed to get the thing.

Jak didn't even want to come near it.

He felt he was betraying Sony by playing Nintendo-games.

"Okay. Now you can get into the war factory and blow the damn thing up" Vin said.

"Will it be a large explosion?" Jak asked.

"No" Vin said.

Jak became sad.

"Ha ha! Got you! You should have seen your face!" Vin said and started laughing as Daxter, Well, Jak and Torn (who just happened to be there) looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Hey Torn. Why do you happen to be here?" Daxter asked as Jak hid behind Vin's holographic face.

"I'm looking at Vin with a puzzled expression" Torn said, he was wearing a t-shirt saying "I wish Praxis was a multi-layered-hyper linking digi - memic -bio- construct super clocked mega memory construct too". "And right now I'm looking at Jak with a puzzled expression. Does he really think I can't see him when he's behind that transparent face?"  
"Apparently he does" Daxter said.

"Fine, so he's not exactly smart. But he's still gorgeous" Torn said.

That made Jak run away screaming.

"Oh… where was he going now?" Torn asked Vin.

"Why do you ask me?" Vin asked.

"You're the multi-layered-hyper linking digi - memic -bio- construct super clocked mega memory construct here. Can't you look it up in a map or something?" Torn said.

"No, I'm no multi-layered-hyper-linking-digi-memic bio-construct-super-clocked-mega-memory-construct who looks in maps. I'm a multi-layered-hyper-linking-digi-memic-bio- construct-super-clocked-mega-memory-construct who stands around here doing nothing" Vin said.

"Fancy name. nothing else fancy" Torn muttered.

"That stupid thing is useless. I want the old Vin back" Miss.Ecofreak said, glaring at the body of the assassins who killed Vin that just happened to be lying around in the power station…stinking a lot.

"How come every character that dies in Dork2 reappears in Dork3?" Jak asked as his friends found him outside, hiding in Torn's zoomer.

"Relax Jak. It's not like _every_ dead character returns" Daxter said as Baron Praxis walked by in the background, followed by some krimson guards, some metalheads and the assassins who killed Vin.

**Zakura: How did you memorize Vin's line? It's a freaking hard word!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: lot's of freaking hard words! But basicly I took a pencil and a paper and played of the scene on the scene player like twice or three times, and wrote it of as I watched it. No big deal. Anyway. Please review, and you'll find out whether the next chapter is Star-Wars-related or not.**

**Zakura: wha?**


	27. The empire strikes back surprisingly eno...

**Miss.Ecofreak: bla bla bla, bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla**

**Zakura: made sense...**

**Answer to Light-Eco girl: It's a hard phrase to remember. I had such a hard time writing it down :p But I figured I had to write it because I thought it would be funny if Jak (who has always been portrayed as an idiot in this fic) was able to say the exact phrase.**

**Answer to Thee Slushee: I'm sorry to say (well not really) that the writers block in question did die a slow and painful death (slow because I spent like half an hour writing nonsense which I actually saved and placed in My Documents, thought that part was even stupider than Dork3 so you'll never see it in Light Within) But you've propably noticed it's been updated:)**

**Answer to Meowen: great singing!**

**Zakura: you didn't even hear the melody. Meowen only wrote "dum-dum" **

**Miss.Ecofreak: oh, okay. Here's chapter 27.**

**CHAPTER 27**

**THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH**

Jak, Daxter and Well hijacked Torn's zoomer and went up to the KG-war factory to blow up the damn thing.

"Hey! Come back with my zoomer!" Torn yelled, throwing his t-shirt at them. (Said t-shirt had the text "Praxis is a great MP3-Player")

"Come back with my chain saw!" Civilian Guy yelled at Zakura the Killer Rabbit who had in fact stolen his chain saw again and was using it to… chop wood (hah! Didn't expect that did you?)

"Yeah! Now we can break the war factory!" Cornelius yelled.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Jak asked.

"Do you think I want to sit by and watch as you destroy everything my brother loves so dearly? No way! I want to break his stuff too!" Cornelius said.

"Okay" Jak said smiling.

Daxter used the zoomer's cannons to shoot down every KG-bot who flew to attack them as Jak got sick by the sight of oil.

"This sucks. I wish Jak hadn't shot down the Millenium Falcon or this would have been so much easier!" Daxter complained.

Then the last of the KG-bots was shot down by the death star.

"Thank you!" Well yelled.

"You're welcome" Darth Vader yelled back.

"We'd like to stay and chat but we have to go destroy the last of the jedi" the emperor yelled.

And then the death star took of.

Jak didn't shoot it this time; he was too busy being confused.

"Did we just receive help from some of the evilest guys in the universe?" he asked Cornelius.

"No way! That was only the empire. They're not half as evil as Errol and his maniac uncle" Cornelius said. (**In my other fic, Baron Praxis is Errol and Cornelius' uncle)"**

Must be because you shot down the Millennium Falcon last year. They probably felt they owed you something" Well said.

Now that the KG-bots were destroyed, Daxter proceeded to destroy the propels that kept the KG-factory flying.

And then the KG-factory… kept flying as if nothing ever happened.

"What keeps that thing in the air?" Cornelius asked.

"Let's go inside and ask your brother" Jak suggested.

The zoomer landed outside a door which conveniently enough opened for the KG's four worst enemies.

Inside they finally got to see Cyber-Errol in all his glory…ew.

This didn't affect them much though; he had been sitting in the Naughty Ottsel for weeks.

They found Cyber-Errol in the kitchen, where he was trying to find his beer.

"Hey! HICK! What are you guys doing here?" he asked as he saw the happy three friends and his ecstatic little brother (Cornelius finds it extremely amusing to see his older brother having his entire body blown up and replaced by metal).

"We came through the front door" Jak answered.

"HICK! Damn it. BILLY!" Cyber Errol shouted.

A KG-bot appeared in the door.

"I'm not Billy. I'm Mortimer" the KG-bot said.

"Then where the HICK is Billy?" Errol asked.

Mortimer whistled innocently, not wanting to tell his boss that Billy was tied up in the basement with both his feet chopped of and his brain/hard disk pinned on the wall next to him.

"Well, if you see him, remind him to shut the door next time the factory is under attacked HICK!" Errol said.

Jak, Well, Daxter and Cornelius had just been standing by watching the conversation.

"Hm, this was highly amusing" Cornelius said.

"Nah. I still miss good old Vin" Jak said. "He was a good guy. A bit crazy".

"Hey! Who're you calling HICK crazy?" Errol asked.

"Vin" Jak answered.

"Oh" Errol answered. "Well…HICK… I still feel like fighting you since you stole my girlfriend".

"Hey! I want to fight you!" Cornelius said.

"But you haven't stolen anything from me HICK" Errol said.

"Really? So you never wondered what happened to your little guinea pig Keira?" Cornelius asked.

**(Miss.Ecofreak: aw, how cute. He named the guinea pig after his one true love)**

"So what? I hated that guinea HICK" Errol said.

"Then what about your even smaller hamster Keira?" Cornelius asked.

**(Aw, how cute. He named the hamster after his one true love)**

"That hamster was five years old. HICK. That's way past a hamster's natural age" Errol said.

"So… you never wondered what happened to your chinchilla Chicky?" Cornelius asked.

"Chicky was mom's chinchilla. Mine was called Keira HICK" Errol said.

**(Aw. How cute. He named the chinchilla after his one true love)**

"Then… did you ever wonder what happened to your old bird Tanya?" Cornelius asked.

"Tanya is your bird. I never had a bird HICK" Errol said.

"Oh well. Let's just fight anyway!" Cornelius said and attacked Errol, he was very angry at his older brother because he stepped on his dear rat, Keira.

**(Aw. How cute. He named the rat after… his brother's true love?)**

Errol hiccupped and kicked Cornelius' ass since he was two years older and had his body covered in strong metal armour.

Besides, Cornelius was never that good in hand-to-hand combat and he left his gun at home in Keira's cage.

Meanwhile, in Cornelius' house.

"I'm really glad to not be ignored but… let me out of this cage!" Keira the elf shouted as she sat in a large cage with nothing else to play with than a gun and a t-shirt with the text "JakJakJakJakJakJak".

Back at the KG-factory, Jak kicked Cyber Errol's ass.

"Funny. I never knew Errol had a pet?" Jak said as his worst enemy lay half-dead on the floor (not completely dead though or this would be a short story)

"He doesn't… not anymore" Cornelius said. "Though right now there's 64 animals at my house all named Keira and two named Chicky and Tanya so it gets a bit confusing".

"Not to mention Keira bit my tail this morning" Tanya said, reminding everyone she was in the building, although no one had noticed her yet.

"Which Keira? The chinchilla? The dog? The cat? The mouse? The animal? The wumpbee? The elephant? The house? The old hag? The hamster? The earth worm? (duh, they don't have teeth) the bear?" Cornelius asked and the list went on and on.

"Um… I don't even remember" Tanya answered.

"Can I adopt one of the pets? I've always wanted a hamster" Darth Vader said.

"Sure, here you go" Cornelius said and gave Darth Vader Keira the hamster who was now six years old and pretty much dead.

**Miss.Ecofreak: okay, that wasn't as much star wars in this chapter as you might would expect from the title, but I hope you liked it anyway.**

**Zakura: Does your school's animals have as unimaginary names as Errol and COrnelius' pets**

**Miss.Ecofreak: of course not. You should know that, you lived there.**

**Zakura: Well you did have a bird and a rabbit both named Pelle, which is a boys name although the budgie was female**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Sure, but we really wanted to name the budgie Pelle and we had only one so... but what does this have to do with Dork3? Please review folks:)**


	28. Rescue stupid transexual monk at temple

**Miss.Ecofreak: I'm back and cheering**

**Zakura: for what? Daxtergame for PSP? New Jak-game for Ps2? You're getting a rat?**

**Miss.Ecofreak Correct... exept for the rat-thing.**

**Answer to Light-Eco-Sage: Errol doesn't have any pets for the moment, Cornelius stole them all.**

**Zakura: that could be a sign of mental disease. Some people take in more animals than they can handle and think they're the only ones who can look after them.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (walks in carrying all of Cornelius' animals to her room)** **how stupid isn't that? But here comes another chapter of Dork3.**

**CHAPTER 28**

**RESCUE FUNNY TRANSSEXUAL MONK AT THE TEMPLE**

Jak looked at the chapter headline with an annoying look on his face.

"Aw, do I have too?" he asked.

"Apparently you must, or this will never finish" Daxter said. "We won't get the next mission until we complete this one. Besides, maybe you'll learn to fly!"

"Yeah right. As if that would ever happen" Jak snarled.

So Well and Daxter had to drag their elfin pal all the way to the monk temple.

Actually they had to drive to get there because there were so many small islands they could only get by riding the dune hoper (which they had left at the temple last time they were there) or Daxter's Mercedes, that doesn't jump but Daxter had propels fastened on it so it could fly them over.

Daxter was driving, he didn't trust Well's driving skills after the leaper-hunt.

In fact, he had just got news that the leaper they caught (which Cornelius imaginatively enough had named "Keira" although it was a male) had died of the fatal heart disease it had but that's another story.

Well was given the hard job of making sure Jak didn't jump of the roof of the Mercedes, why he was on the roof in the first place was a mystery to Torn, but for me however… I find it just as mysterious.

Finally, after about thirty seconds they reached the monk temple.

Thirty seconds later they stood in front of the precursor oracle/large ottsel statue.

"Hi guys. Do you need help getting to the funny transsexual monk?" the oracle asked.

"How can a statue talk?" Daxter asked all of a sudden.

"I'll give you a new light power! One which will help you reach new places" the oracle said and gave Jak a new light power, one which would help him reach new places.

"Wow! Now you can fly! Just like me!" Well said.

"Flut-fluts don't fly, Well" Light Jak said. "And neither does leprechauns" he added in a whisper.

With his newly acquired wings, Jak managed to get through the monk temple only to find Seem standing by a broken wall looking at the day star, apart from that, she wasn't doing anything at all.

"Well you sure help us a lot saving the universe" Jak said as he changed back from his light form.

"Nah, why bother? You're the hero anyway" Seem said, she was wearing a t-shirt with the text "Doesn't that precursor oracle look adorable?"

"Sure, but you're supposed to be the helpful transsexual monk who gives me advice and stuff" Jak said.

"No, that's Pecker's job. My job is to get annoyed by you until this scene where I'm supposed to be grateful that you saved my life from those dark makers Miss.Ecofreak forgot to add and give you the artefact Miss.Ecofreak forgot to add" Seem said.

Jak looked around; surely, the important artefact was not there.

"You're doing this on purpose don't you?" he asked the author who was standing right next to him drinking coke.

"Yup" the dark precursor said, and suddenly the time map appeared out of nowhere.

"So… what does this thing do?" Jak asked and started shaking the time map.

"Don't break it moron! That will help you power up the planetary-defence system… if you by any chance feel like doing that. But apart from that it's completely useless, just ignore it" Seem said.

Jak threw the time map in Seems head so she fainted, picked it up again, and left her to die.

Unfortunately for Jak, Seem didn't die. She was rescued by a singing warthog and his ottsel-looking friend.

"Hm. This was quite odd" Seem said as she looked at the two animals who were currently singing Hakuna Matata along with Daxter's fan club.

She was indeed quite familiar with this song, in fact, "no worries" (English for Hakuna matata) had been her motto since the start of this fic.

Timon and Pumbaa also found themselves a new hobby.

Instead of bowling for vultures and hyenas, they figured bowling for dark-makers was even more amusing (until they found another animal to bowl for).

**Miss.Ecofreak: please review. Meanwhile I'll take a nap.**

**Zakura: you can't sleep now! You have to feed all the animals you brought home and finish the next chapters of Dork3, Light Within, Undercover Ottsel and Harry Potter.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: I didn't write Harry Potter you stupid rabbit! If I did, I could afford buying a chinchilla instead of the long-eared stupid animal I have now**

**Zakura:.. so I'm just a replacement for a more expensivie animal.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: nope. you should know more than anyone not to take my authours-note seriusly. Review people.**


	29. A rather confusing day

**Miss.Ecofreak: Alright, here's another fairly random and confusing chapter where nothing serious happens**

**Zakura: not unlike the rest of the fic in other words.**

**Miss.Ecofreak. but first some review answering**

**Answer to Malik Ming: According to what I've read JakX combat racing is for PS2, and yup, it's a racing game (with a title like that it should be obvious) but I think it will have some history in it too.**

**Answer to Meowen: take of the coat and it won't be so hot;) And yeah, Daxter comes out on a new PSP-game, it might turn out the only reason why I buy a PSP, seeing that almost every other games I've seen for it is racing, shooting, racing, shooting... snore.**

**Zakura: wake up dark precursor! We've got a story to tell here!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: just five more minutes zzzzzzzzzzzz**

**Zakura: why do I bother trying? Here's a rather confusing chapter.**

**CHAPTER 29**

**A RATHER CONFUSING DAY**

As the happy three friends got back to Spargus they found a very distressed Damas by the canon.

"Hi fatherly-figure. What's eating you?" Jak asked.

"Nothing, he's at the top of the food chain!" an ottsel-looking guy said and started laughing manically until Pumbaa found it a good idea to bowl for meercats.

"So… what's wrong Damas?" Jak asked as soon as the two lion king-characters had ran of into the desert to look for a new lion-cub to adopt.

"Aw. Not much. I'm only a bit worried because these large dark maker-robots are destroying the city" Damas said.

Jak turned around, and sure enough, behind him (quite odd he hadn't noticed) was five gigantic dark maker-robots.

"Those were some nasty robots" Daxter said. "We better run away screaming".

"Good idea" Jak said.

And so Jak, Well, Damas and Daxter ran away screaming into the desert.

"Some heroes they are" Luke Skywalker said, then he too ran away screaming.

"No, this isn't getting anywhere!" I yelled.

Then Jak, Daxter and Well appeared out of nowhere.

"How did we end up here?" Jak asked. "We were just hiding behind a palm three in the desert".

"You are the heroes of this fic! So if you don't get up at that cannon and shot down these dark makers we will never be done here!" I yelled.

"So… what you're saying is… we'll be stuck in this fanfic forever?" Jak asked.

Miss.Ecofreak nodded, constantly switching from first to third-person POV, and by doing so, annoying the readers.

"We can't risk that!" Jak yelled. "We need to work together on this mission! Miss.Ecofreak, you walk away and brush your teeth, Daxter, you'll go up there and shoot those dark makers down, Well, you and I will go into Damas' castle and watch South Park".

And so they did.

"Hey! A thought just struck me; no one else is doing anything to help!" Daxter commented as he was shooting the bad guys.

"Life's not fair" a passing lion with black mane said confusing everyone reading.

"This day is getting far more confusing each second" Daxter said. "What a---uc--r made this up?"

"Don't say –sss—ke-, that's sexual harassment" said a panda bear.

"Who are you?" Daxter asked.

Then a short song started playing.

"Sexual-harassment Panda" the panda bear sang.

Daxter turned the cannon around and shot the Sexual-harassment Panda.

As soon as Daxter was done killing Dark makers, he walked in to Damas' palace to watch South Park with his friends.

But as he came in, South Park was finished.

"What? I missed South Park?" he said in surprise.

"Yup. You should have seen it! There was a fat kid in it!" Jak said.

"The fat kid is in every single episode moron!" Miss.Ecofrek complained while brushing her teeth. "Except in that Terrance and Phillips-special and those episodes which only included Stan, Kyle and Kenny.

"This sucks! Now I'm going to sing you a stupid song!" Daxter said and started singing: "I hate you guys (harmonica plays) especially Kenny (harmonica play) I hate him the most"

**(This song was originally song by Eric Cartman in the javosaur-episode of South Park)**

The song only made the other people in the room look at Daxter with a puzzled expression.

"Who's Kenny?" Jak asked.

It might be a bit odd he doesn't know who Kenny is when he just watched South Park but… Jak's an idiot.

Then the sun went down and the confusing day ended, only to be replaced by yet another confusing day the next morning where Jak and Daxter spent their day hunting deer.

**Zakura: oh, the poor deers!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: it could be worse, they could be hunting... wabbits. (funny laugh)**

**Zakura: what's a wabbit?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: never mind. review people,and if you think you know what a wabbit is you can tell;)**


	30. The thirtieth chapter

**Miss.Ecofreak: we're back for the 30. time in this fic**

**Zakura: to the thirteth chapter.**

**Answer to Red Hawk K'sani: yup**

**Answer to Thee Slushee: yup. I was quite sure that when/if a new Jak-game would come it would be a racing-game. Though JakX does have a certain story, something about Krew's last will. Next game will probably be something like Crash Bash.**

**Zakura: Have you played any of the Crash-games?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: a bit. Mostly the demoes on the Spyro-games, I was never into Crash Bandicoot that much**

**Zakura: then why did you buy Jak and Daxter?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: felt like it**

**Zakura: and why did you buy Jak2 when you found the first game disappointing?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: because I had to! I had seen the trailer and figured this game had to be better than its prequel.**

**But enough of that, here's the sequel to chapter 29 and the prequel to chapter 31. Chapter 30.**

**CHAPTER 30**

**THE THIRTIETH CHAPTER**

Then the thirtieth chapter started as the chapter after chapter 29 and the one before 31.

Jak, Daxter and their mentally confused leprechaun-friend walked into the freedom league HQ.

"Hi Jak, nice of you to drop by" Ashelin said, she was sewing a t-shirt with the text "I hate Errol"; it was supposed to say "I do not hate Errol but I think Cornelius does".

Suddenly Torn jumped out and hugged Jak; he was wearing a t-shirt saying "I would never cheat on Praxis".

"Jak-chan! Guess what? We're going on a mission together!" he said as if that was the greatest thing in the world.

"Mgh! That's great Torn. But can you please stop? You're choking me!" Jak said, gasping for air. "Besides, isn't chan a Japanese ending usually used on small girls?"  
"Maybe. I don't speak Japanese, only Errol does (he's the only person in Haven who speaks Japanese cause no one else wants to speak the same language as him as long as it's not their own)" Torn said, finally letting go of Jak revealing he was suddenly wearing a new t-shirt with the text "I love the way Praxis' ass moves when he walks".

Jak looked at this shirt for a moment.

"Ew" he said and turned away.

As he turned back the very same t-shirt was actually saying "Look at me! I'm a gigantic lollipop!"

Jak assumed this was a sign he was going crazy…er.

He decided to figure out whether he was seeing things by asking Daxter.

"Er… Daxter? What does the writing on Torn's shirt say?" Jak asked.

"It says "Hi. I'm a large popsicle" Daxter said.

"Oh, good. I am only imagining things" Jak said relieved Torn wasn't wearing a shirt with such a crazy text saying "Look at me! I'm a gigantic lollipop"

"No you fool; it says "I like Barney the dinosaur!" Well said.

"Whatever. Let's just get started on this stupid mission" Jak said.

So they went outside with Torn, Jinx and Sig to do some mission they obviously needed to do.

Torn was sitting on a zoomer filled with explosives to wreck the metal head barrier while Jinx, Jak, Daxter, Sig and Well were sitting in a crowded zoomer trying to protect Town who was using the longest most dangerous path through the city **(why does he do that? That totally annoyed me!)**

Finally they reached the metal head barrier like three days later (Torn had gotten lost so many times and had been driving in circles up until then).

But as they reached the barrier, Torn forgot an important thing.

When you're sitting on a bomb-filled zoomer and are driving towards a wall, jump of.

Torn didn't jump of the zoomer, he crashed into the wall and the zoomer blew up.

Jak ran towards the badly injured Torn.

"Torn! Torn! Are you alright?" he asked, lifting up Torn's head.

"Yeah… I'll be fine" Torn managed to say.

"Damn it!" Jak said and dropped Torn into the acid stuff down bellow so Sig and Jinx had to use rest of their day trying to get him up (and for some reason, they succeeded and Torn did not suffer any fatal injuries surprisingly enough).

Jak was so angry Torn had survived, so he decided to go out in the forest.

That didn't turn out as peaceful as he had thought it would be, because at the front entrance to Haven Forest, Naruto was standing, looking at the tree that had just entered.

"Wow! A walking tree!" he said.

Jak killed both the tree and Naruto, which turned out only to be a replication; the real Naruto was at the Naughty Ottsel eating Ramen.

But Jak and his two friends walked up to the astro viewer.

"Hey! Now that we have another artefact, maybe we can do an amazing thing!" Daxter said.

"Like what?" Jak asked.

"I don't know. Something like… time-travelling… transforming me into an ottsel… becoming best friends… defeating a dark sage… being pumped with dark eco… killing the evil director… watching dead bodies… survive a trip to the desert… but then again, all those things are completely impossible" Daxter said.

"Yeah. And do you know what the most impossible thing would be?" Well asked.

Silence.

"What? You don't know? Then I'll tell you. The craziest thing to do would be if you managed to control a dark maker robot with that machine and by doing so, destroying the dark maker ship's shield, wouldn't that be crazy?" Well asked.

Then Jak did all the stuff Well said was impossible.

"Now that's freaky" Well said.

Suddenly Jak heard three funny voices shouting "You're not as good as we expected but we like you anyway!"  
"That was even freakier" Jak said.

**Miss.Ecofreak: everything in this fic is freaked out**

**Zakura: after 30 chaptes Jak should know that. Please review and you will not get a new pet in your mail box.**


	31. Well wants a pet

**Miss.Ecofreak: I am feeling very sick rigth now, but I am also very bored, so I decided to upload this chapter**

**Answer to Meowen: fine. I'll take the pet away. Aw... I'm so jealous!**

**Answer to Light-Eco-Sage: At you too! I whish I could see all those Jakx-things but all I'm stuck with is this crappy internett-connection! We can't even get a broadband! **

**Answer to Red Hawk K'sani: blame the word-spelling-test. It automaticly changed artifact into artefact.**

**CHAPTER 31**

**WELL WANTS A PET/PEST**

After making problems for the KG-bots and the dark makers, Jak decided it was time to screw things up for the metalheads as well.

So they went into this large metalheadtower that the metalheads had somehow managed to make in about twelve months.

Inside the tower they encountered a lot of metalcovered creatures.

"Argh! What are those things?" Daxter yelled.

Jak took out a book called "The book which tells you obvious things".

"According to this book they're metalheads" Jak said. "Just like all the other metalheads we've met"

"Thought they looked familiar" Daxter said.

"It's so cute! Can I keep it?" Well asked.

"Sorry dude, it's illegal to keep wild animals as pests" Jak said.

"I'm not going to have it as a pest, it'll be my pet!" Well said.

"Pet, pets, what's the difference?" Daxter asked. "Especially when you're talking about metalheads".

So Well was not allowed to keep the metalhead, and Jak decided it had become to depended on leprechauns (over the thirty seconds Well had had it) to survive in the wild so he figured the kindest thing (to himself) was to put it to sleep (though he could have found a nicer way to do it than to shoot its teeth out and wait for it to starve to death).

"Good bye Will. It's for the best" Well said as he left the crying metalhead.

They climbed up to the top of the tower and found something they didn't expect.

"Surely I never expected to find an empty beer-bottle here" Daxter said.

"Empty beer-bottle? Could this mean trouble?" Jak asked.

Jak's worst fears were not confirmed as Errol walked in.

"Phew, I was afraid we were going to be attacked by drunken teletubbies" he said.

"Well that's HICK impossible. Tinky Winky is at the hospital recovering from the injuries you gave him by punching him trough a wall (**I don't know what gender the teletubbies has or how their names are written so I'm just guessing)**, Tipsy is trying to get famous herself without her other friends, Lala and Po are trying to make a new episode of the teletubbies and fail miserably since there's only two of them and the narrator has lost his voice after yesterdays karaoke-night HICK" Errol explained.

"Phew. How reassuring" Jak said.

"But we still have to fight Errol" Daxter said.

"No need. HICK! I'm leaving" Errol said and jumped through a portal that took him to the dark maker ship.

"Hey! How do you know it takes him to the dark maker ship?" Daxter asked the author.

"It says on the top of the portal" Miss.Ecofreak explained.

Daxter looked up, and he noticed there were actually three portals there, one said "Sandover Village", the other said "A whole new world" and lots of Pokemon jumped out of it **(Inspired by the pokemon-song: Jotho Theme where the chorus goes: it's a whole new world we live in)**, the one Errol had jumped in through said "Somewhere in space".

"Hm, that sure was annoying like hell" Daxter said.

Then a red and white ball appeared.

"Voltorb" the ball said.

"Aw, how cute" Daxter said (**Dude, it's a ball! How cute is a ball?)**

Voltorb glared at him, and then it started sparkling.

"Err… something tells me we need to get out of here" Daxter said.

Then Ashelin appeared in the zoomer she had stolen from Jinx, (she wanted to take Torn's zoomer but Jak had already taken and crashed it).

"Hop in!" she said.

They all jumped in before Voltorb exploded and the metalhead tower exploded.

The end.

Not.

**Jak: aww.. why not?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: becuase! this fic won't quit untill the game does! please review and I'll try to get better (sneezes) damn this cold.**

**Zakura: get well soon and clean my cage! **


	32. Pecker the guide

**Miss.Ecofreak: So... here we go again (it's limited how many ways I can think of to open these things)**

**Answer to Light-Eco-Sage: I don't know if that helped but I'm feeling a bit better now (now I'll just have to figure out a way not to get carsick or get rid of my headache)**

**Zakura: why are you sitting by your computer if you have a headache?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Cause I'm not the smartest person in the world:)**

**Answer to Fuzzkitten: I can't agree more. I just figured out I wanted to use Voltorb because I figured I had just created a protal to the pokemon world and something had to blow up. I play the pokemon-games a bit too, if I'm bored... So don't tease me:)**

**Zakura: the weird part is, she sold her Game Boy Advance with Pokemon Sapphire just so that she could take her brothes game (ruby) instead.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: yup. Mentioned brother complained a bit on that too, but hey! He never plays it and now he's got a DS. (I once started created my own save file on his pkmn yellow even though I already had red version)**

**But enough wiht the poke-talk (I'm so much into anime, Pokemon helped me realize that) here's the chapter you've all been waiting for since... say... yesterday was it?**

**CHAPTER 32**

**PECKER THE GUIDE**

Ashelin dumped the now unhappy three friends by Onin's tent that had moved since the last game.

They walked in and found Samos, Onin and Pecker.

Samos was wearing a t-shirt saying "Jak, we're in serious trouble!"  
"I sure like Mar a lot" he said.

"Why are we in trouble?" Jak asked.

"Because, the dark makers plan to destroy us" Pecker said.

"Aw come on. Do you have any proof of that?" someone asked.

Everyone turned around to see Seem in the door eating popcorn and wearing a t-shirt called "Ottsels make great popcorn".

"Just ignore the highly annoying transsexual monk in the door" Pecker said. "Onin says: you need to go down to the catacombs and activate the planets defence system. Pecker will guide you and… HEY WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S MY POPCORN!"

Then Seem screamed and ran out the door followed by a pissed of Pecker.

"Well… that was… unexpected" Jak said.

"Not really. This is Dork3 remember?" Samos said casually.

"Stupid Dork3" someone wearing a t-shirt with the text "Jak3 is far better than Dork3" muttered.

Everyone ignored Keira as usual and waited for Pecker to get back.

Two hours later he flew in trough the tent opening, covered in bruises and with the bag of popcorn (which was empty) in his claws.

"I won at last!" he said triumphant.

"Yeah whatever. Can you guide us now?" Jak asked.

"Fine, just let me eat my… oh, nothing left. Okay lets move" Pecker said.

He led them towards the palace ruins.

"And this here is the ruins of the late baron's palace which fell down for no apparent reason, already at the end of Dork2, and once again in Dork3" Pecker told.

"We know that. We're not tourists" Jak said.

"Onin said I had to be your guide! So I'll guide!" Pecker said. Then he kept talking nonsense while the bored three friends sneaked away.

As they got through the palace ruins, they found even more ruins and some nasty looking metalheads.

"Oh great. What shall we do now?" Daxter asked.  
"I've got an idea! I'll call my dad!" Jak said and picked up the phone.

No answer.

"Oh well, we'll just have to kick these guys asses by ourselves" Jak said casually and threw the cell phone over his shoulder.

Then Jak transformed into Light Jak.

"Damn, wrong button" he said, and transformed into Dark Jak (directly from light).

They kicked the asses of the metalheads and then suddenly a vicious looking dark maker satellite appeared.

"Holly crap" Well said.

"Hey Jak, I've got to tell you that in about three seconds I'm going to scream like a little girl" Daxter said.

"Me too Dax" Jak said **(Thanks to Light-Eco-Sage for that joke)**

Then they all screamed like little girls… that is all except the little girl who of some reason was standing right next to them.

"Hi" the little girl said, smiling like little children often do when they meet new people.

"Err… Hi?" the dark maker satellite said, sounding unsure. **(Yup, the satellite is talking)**

"What's your name?" the little girl asked.

"Err… Phillip?" the dark maker satellite said, probably just making up a name since it didn't have any.

"Do you wanna be my friend?" the little girl asked.

"Err… sure" Phillip the dark maker satellite said.

Then the little girl took the dark maker satellite's tentacle and walked of to play with her new friend as Jak, Daxter and Well…ehm…eh just looked at the two with a puzzled expression.

Suddenly a car came crashing through the ruins.

In it were Damas and Ehm…wait! Think I've got it! No, forgot it.

"Anyone here screamed like a little girl?" Damas asked.

"Cause if they did they're real sissies, right Damas? People who scream like little girl are sissies right? They are sissies right?" Ehm asked.

Damas threw Ehm of the car so he screamed like a little girl.

"None of us screamed" Jak said.

"No. Only sissies and little girls scream like little girls" Daxter said.

"And we're big bold men, not sissies and not little girls" Well said.

"Must have been the little girl you heard" Jak said.

"Fine then. Hop aboard and we'll give these dark makers a piece of Kleiver's mind" Damas said.

"Why can't Kleiver give them some of his mind himself?" Jak asked as he jumped into the driver's seat pushing Damas away.

"Because he's too busy playing poker with that sewer rat again" Damas said. "I'm seriously thinking of locking his cards into my maniac-cage but then I bet they'll just use the rat's cards"

**Miss.Ecofreak: will our heroes reach the catacombs? Who is Jak's father? Who is Damas' son? Do these two questions have a link to each other? Will Kleiver loose all his possessions to a sewer rat? Find out in the thrilling next chapter of Dork3! Nothing special when the strange is about to get stranger...**

**Zakura: and please leave a review and tell us what you think.**


	33. The strange gets even stranger

**Miss.Ecofreak: here comes the craziest scene of Jak3, but first, let's answer some reviews**

**Answer to Thee Slushee: Yup, that was totally random. Besides, Kleiver already lost all his possesions to the sewer rat.**

**Answer to Meowen: aw! I can't watch Simpsons anymore, cause we no longer get to see TV3 on our Tv (which is the only channel in Norway which shows the Simpsons). Futurama even quit a few years back so now what can I watch? (Ok, South Park is on as I speak, I could watch that)**

**Answer to Malik Ming: ... no... I have absolutely no idea what that is, sorry.**

**Answer to Red Hawk K'sani: that's okay, as long as I get a review I am happy (I got a bit confused though) Can't you say that about Pokemon to my old classmates? They seem to think that just because I liked Pokemon a bit longer than everyone else I would love it forever, and found it a good idea to tease me for that (get a life I would tell them, but I'm to shy). I've stopped buying new Pkmn games since I sold my GBA, but I still play ruby every once in a while.**

**Zakura: stop talking about Pokemon! It's stupid!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: fine you silly little Pichu**

**Zakura: (glare)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: here's a new chapter.**

**THE 33. CHAPTER.**

**WITH A TITLE THAT STANDS OUT A BIT**

**AKA: THE STRANGE GETS STRANGER**

Jak drove Damas' car through the ruins of different important and unimportant buildings.

As usual he drove like he was driving the president's limo, which was actually quite close to the truth since it was Damas' car he was driving.

"Not so fast! I'm falling of!" Damas cried.

"I told you to wear seatbelts!" Jak complained. "And the car won't go slower!"

But Damas just kept complaining all the way towards the catacombs and Jak almost hoped a large missile would hit the car so he would fall of.

Then a large missile hit the car so Jak, Ehm, Daxter and Well fell of as the car turned over and Damas (who was the only one who didn't fall of and also the only one who didn't wear seatbelts) landed under it.

"Damas! I told you to wear seatbelts!" Jak said, how Damas would fall out easier _with_ the seatbelts was some of a mystery.

"You… suck at driving" Damas said.

"Yeah, I've learnt it from my father… whoever that was" Jak said.

"Well, there's something I need to tell you before I die" Damas said and started breathing so hard it sounded like he was wearing a mask. "Jak… I am your father".

"NOOOOOOOO! Hey wait, I'm supposed to be happy about that right? I mean YEEEEAAAAAH!" Jak said as he started thinking of his younger self.

Then Damas died.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Jak screamed.

"And he says he hates star wars? What an odd character Jak is" Darth Vader said.

"Told you so" said Luke Skywalker. "Now come on, we have to go sleep outside the cinema so we can get tickets to the next star wars movie!"

So Luke and Darth Vader walked away leaving Jak to mourn alone.

Well, not entirely alone.

"Poor Damas. I knew him well" Ehm said. "Cause that's true you know. I've known that guy since this fic started and even before that. Yup, he was such a great character. To bad he had to die like that. Yup. This was such a sad scene. Not something I would expect to see in a Nintendo game".

"But we're not in a Nintendo game" Well commented before Veger knocked them both out.

"Geez, they were getting annoying! Now it's my turn to talk!" he said. "Yes you were that kid you saw in your mental picture. I took you from Damas so that I could to something very cruel but then I lost you to the underground and become so angry I pulled out all my hair! It's your fault I'm bold! Now I'm going to go down to the catacombs and save the world so you can't! Ha ha!" then Veger ran away laughing.

"After him Well!" Daxter said.

"Well's unconscious Dax" Jak said.

"Oh… in that case. After him Jak!" Daxter said.

Then Jak ran after Veger and jumped into one of the catacomb-thingies.

Why there were two of them nobody knew, it was actually quite weird seeing there was only one in the sub rails leading to Haven City.

But enough about that.

Well and Ehm were tied to the end of the vehicle.

Suddenly all turned black.

And then the room was lit up bit by bit something that looked very simple but it did in fact take a long time for the Naughty Dog-animators to create.

That was easy to see for the happy two friends and the two cousins with a headache as they reached the planets core, cause there was a lot of ND-employees standing there dancing and celebrating they had finally finished that one short scene.

"Wow! I didn't really expect you to make it this far" a glowing dude said.

"Oh man a precursor… how did you get here?" Jak asked.

"Not thanks to you that's for sure!" the precursor complained.

In the background, hiding behind the ND-guys was Civilian Guy standing counting a lot of money (the precursor had paid him to open the precursor stone).

"Put that thing you got from Seem there. So we can power up the planetary defence system" the precursor said.

So Jak put the artefact he got from Seem at some thing it looked good in and then the large machine behind the precursor started producing dark and light eco.

"As a token of our gratitude, we will grant you the biggest honour of becoming one of us" the precursor said.

"And… that's a good thing?" Jak asked.

The precursor looked at him for a moment… "Yes" he said.

"Wow, it's the first time someone actually said that" Jak said.

"Stop!" Veger shouted.

"Hansel? Where have you been?" Ehm asked.

"MY NAME IS VEGER! And I will be the one to evolve into a precursor!" Veger said.

"Okay. Since you're a vicious bold guy (and not to mention since you are pointing a gun at me) I will turn you into a precursor" said the precursor and a beam of light hit Gervir.

"Now where did she get that name from?" Veger wondered as he stood up.

"It is done! And now I will shoot you."  
"How troublesome" Shikamaru said before he was shot, not by Veger, but by Jak who had unfortunately used the wrong ammo in his peacemaker so instead of dying, Shikamaru just fainted.

"Now that was very confusing" the precursor said. "Even now it may be too late. If Errol awakens the ships cargo, we will either all be doomed or it's nothing to worry about, just ignore it"

"Are you related to Seem somehow?" Daxter asked.

"Man that rat's annoying! I told you we needed a backup-hero" the precursor said to the door behind him.

Then he started fighting with himself and disappeared.

As the glowing precursor disappeared, the door behind him opened and his voice still boomed from the large speakers on each side of the door.

"We are unhappy with your performance! If you had been a real hero, you would have stopped Errol by now and…"

The three creatures inside the room stopped talking and turned around.

The leprechauns fainted again, and Jak, Daxter and Veger stared at the sight before them.

"Oh…my…" Jak said, and then he thought for a moment before saying "Ottsel"

Yup, the creatures in front of them were three ottsels.

The fattest ottsel turned around again and talked into his microphone.

"Eh…Now we are even more angry" he said with the voice of the precursor oracle. "We will now order you to please avert your eyes and…"  
As he said "avert your eyes", one of his friends blocked of the camera with his hands but the ottsel leader had figured it was no use anyway.

"Oh bother" he said and threw the microphone away, now sounding like a small ottsel.

"They look like… me?" Daxter asked.

"Not quite what you expected was it?" the Ottsel leader said.

"Yeah. We like get that a lot" his surfer friend said.

"Don't look so upset" the leader said as he saw Jak's upset face. "If you knew we precursors were a bunch of little fuzzy rats, would you worship us? Could we run the universe?"  
"Not possible buddy" the ottsel surfer said.

"So we… fluff up the myth. A bit" the leader said.

"Then we get the respect we deserve" said an ottsel with a helmet covering his eyes.

"You idiots! Get down from there and stop defiling that glorious machine!" said… Veger, who else?

But then the ottsel leader took out his staff and sent Veger flying towards a ring of some sort and there he was stuck.

"Don't let our size fool you, we are the most powerful beings in the universe" the ottsel leader said.

"We are?" asked the idiot as the other two signalled for him to shut up.

"But why does Daxter look like…?" Jak started.

"Oh yes. All eco contains our essence, our code so to speak" the ottsel leader said. "When Daxter touched the dark eco, he was actually blessed when he thought he was cursed"

Daxter thought over this for a moment.

"Wahoo! I'm a precursor! I'm a precursor!" he said while dancing happily in front of Veger, then he stopped, he had noticed something very unfair. "Hey wait a minute! They have pants!"  
The precursors looked down and sure enough, they had pants.

"These creatures are the great precursors?" Veger asked in disbelief (**well, duh. What do think they've been trying to say for this entire scene?)** "And I wanted to evolve into… oh no!"

Veger screamed, but it was too late.

In a matter of seconds, he looked down to see a couple of fuzzy feet and a tail; in front of him he saw another pair of fuzzy feet and a tail, with Daxter on top of them.

"A bit troublesome? Isn't it?" Daxter asked.

"That's my line" Shikamaru said still sounding much disorientated.

"We don't have much time. You must go up to the dark maker ship before Errol awakens the ships cargo" the ottsel leader said.

"But the weapon?" Jak asked.

"Relax buddy, you've got mondo minutes to get back here before…." The ottsel surfer started. "Hopefully before" interrupted the leader. "Babooom!" shouted the idiot simply because he wanted to say something too.

"Let's go" Jak said before jumping through a conveniently placed portal.

**Zakura: man. I've seen many stupid chapters in this fic but this… honestly! How did you think of that?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: Do you know what the weirdest part of this is?**

**Zakura: no**

**Miss.Ecofreak: ever since the three ottsels appeared, except for the appearance of Shikamaru and a few lines, I didn't change anything from the original scene**

**Zakura: what?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: I sat down and started thinking. This was a hilarious scene in the game, how can I make it funnier? And then I figured, I couldn't, so it stayed like this. Please review.**

**Zakura: And I thought Jak3 was a serious story.**


	34. The Adventure In The Dark Maker Ship

**Miss.Ecofreak: Hey! guess what! My picture was printed in shonen jump (dances) I've got a picture in shonen jump, I've got a picture in shonen jump.**

**Zakura: that no one outside Norway can see.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: oh... whatever...**

**Answer to Something Stupid: I can't keep track of all the precursor artefacts Jak and Daxter walks around with. Sometimes I forget them, sometimes I ignore them. Just face it, there's nothing funny about a precursor artefact anyway.**

**Answer to Red Hawk K'sani: that's my favourite scene too! I didn't know quite what to make of it when I saw it cause I found it a bit to silly to be in Jak3, but now I love it. I watched the commentary and there ND said they were sick of god always seen as big almighty creatures, so they made the precursors little and fuzzy, brilliant!**

**Zakura: they should have made them rabbits.**

**Answer to Meowen: Congratulations:) Welcome aboard**

**Miss.Ecofreak: and now... the fluffy little adventure in the Dark Maker ship (title inspired by "The Adventure In Baron Praxis Prison cell", Dork2)**

**CHAPTER 34**

**THE ADVENTURE IN THE DARK MAKER SHIP**

The happy four friends were dumped at the floor in the dark maker ship.  
"Why are we here again?" Ehm asked.

"To make it funny, come on let's go kick Errol's ass!" said Cornelius.

Jak, Daxter, Well and Ehm didn't care to ask what Cornelius was doing there, they had encountered him nearly every time they encountered Errol.

They sneaked through the ship, only killing like six hundred dark makers in the process.

They might not have to do that; in fact they could probably have made it through the ship unnoticed if it wasn't for one small thing.

"Wow this is awesome! Being around the hero is so cool! Don't you think it's cool Well? I sure find this very… hey look! There's a dark maker attacking us!"

"Ehm…. wait! I think I've got it! No, forgot it! Will you please take this and shut up?" Jak asked, giving a box of Ritalin hidden in sugar box to the hyper leprechaun.

"Wow! White gold!" Ehm shouted (no, he can't talk normally) and grabbed the box.

He ate all the contents and immediately he fell asleep.

"Wow. Remind me to tell his mother and my aunt about that trick, she's going to be so happy" Well said.

Now that Ehm was asleep, they could finally sneak unnoticed through the ship.

Cornelius was carrying Ehm, singing a lullaby for him to keep him from waking up (though he could have chosen another song than Galactic Lullaby, but everyone who's read the last chapter of Dork2 knows Cornelius doesn't exactly know what songs fit in which situation)

They made it to the centre of the ship almost unnoticed.

They could have made it completely unnoticed if Cornelius wasn't singing but nobody really cared.

In the centre of the ship they found Cornelius' older and even more insane brother.

"All this dark makers at my command! HICK just think what I can do!" he said.

Cornelius thought for a moment. "You could… use it to drive me to the movies?"  
"Aw come on! HICK!" Errol

"Mom told you to look after me! Or else you wouldn't get any allowance!" Cornelius said.

Oh, so now we know why Cornelius was in the dark maker ship.

"Dude, that's stupid" said Ehm who had just woken up. "He's an adult man and he still needs allowance from his mom. That's so dumb! Isn't it dumb Cornelius? It is just as stupid as being 20 and still needing a babysitter!"

As Ehm said that, Cornelius "accidentally" dropped the leprechaun to the floor.  
"You're done for cyber-drunky! Even if we both die!" Jak said and knocked both himself and Errol over the edge.

But Errol had rockets in his feet while Jak had wings so it didn't really do any good.

"What did you need to do that for? HICK you should have realised I wouldn't die that easily" Cyber Errol said.

"I'm an idiot remember?" said Light Jak.

"Oh right. Now I'll go destroy the world" said Errol and jumped into one of the dark maker terraformers.

Just as Errol escaped in the gigantic robot (which Cornelius was already sitting in) the beam from the planetary defence system hit the ship.

"Hm, this can't be good" said Jak, who had chosen a very bad time to change back from his flying, regenerating form.

"We better leave through this portal" Daxter said and pointed at a portal which said "Right next to a dune buggy"

Jak, Daxter, Well and Ehm jumped through the portal and landed next to a dune buggy in the wasteland.

There they saw the terraformer, walking aimlessly around in the desert **(You know, Errol doesn't exactly do anything wrong, he just walks around in circles)**

"This guy just won't quit!" Ehm said. "I mean, at first we thought he died in the zoomer crash, and then he came back, then you kicked his ass, then he came back again…"

"Here, take this sugar" said Jak and handed a box of Ritalin to Ehm again.

"White gold!" Ehm shouted (again)

After eating the Ritalin cleverly disguised as sugar the hyperactive leprechaun immediately fell asleep.

"You'd think he wouldn't fall for the same trick twice, especially not twice in one hour" Well said.

"I don't think leprechauns are very smart creatures" Jak said while he walked towards the dune buggy.

Well didn't react to the insult, no wonder because he thinks he's a flut-flut (still he knows his own cousin is a leprechaun, odd fellow)

**Miss.Ecofreak: coming up: the battle begins.**


	35. Defeat final drunk

**Miss.Ecofreak: we all know Errol is an idiot walking around in circles doing nothing wrong but to throw things at Jak. Poor Jak. Anyway. here's the second last (gasp!) chapter of Dork3**

**CHAPTER 35**

**DEFEAT FINAL DRUNK**

"Can we go to the movies now?" Cornelius asked.

"Shut up little turd! HICK! I'm driving!" Errol complained.

"Watch out for that mountain!" Cornelius yelled.

Three seconds later Errol (as the idiot he is) managed to crash into the gigantic mountain.

"You crashed" Cornelius said, stating the obvious.

"Huh? I did? HICK!" said Errol, nope, he hadn't noticed.

He backed of from the mountain and stepped on Veger while doing so **(only because I wanted to torture him a bit more)**

"Watch out for that seagull!" Cornelius yelled.

"We're in the desert moron! HICK! There are no seagulls in the desert!" Errol said before crashing into a seagull.

"Told you so" Cornelius said.

"If I buy you an ice cream will you shut up?" Errol asked.

Cornelius just stared at him for a moment.

"HICK" Errol said.

"Watch out for that ice cream stand!" Cornelius yelled.

Errol stopped by the ice cream stand, Jak (who had been following him this whole time shooting the terraformer's legs) stopped right behind him.

"Can I help you?" asked Civilian Guy who was working in the ice cream stand.

"Eh, yeah. HICK! I want a beer-ice-cream, a chunk of frozen water for my brother and… HICK! Jak! What do you want?" Errol said.

"I'll take a hamburger" Jak said. "And give me two other kinds of ice cream for Well and Daxter".

"How about Ehm? HICK!" Errol asked.

"Give him a Ritalin-ice-cream. But make sure to write "sugar-ice" on it" Jak said.

And then they took a break while eating ice cream.

"Who would have known the desert would be a nice spot to place an ice cream stand?" Civilian Guy wondered for himself as he was writing on a board how many beer-flavoured ice creams Errol had eaten.

As soon as they had all eaten their ice creams and Ehm had once again fallen asleep before he even woke up, Errol and Jak started fighting in a random sort of way.

"Now you see why I never loose!" Errol said.

"What about the class one race?" Jak asked

"Alright, now you see why I HICK never loose EXCEPT in the class one race" Errol said,

"What about that street race?" Daxter asked.

Errol sighed and hiccupped.

"You see why I never loose except in the class one race or the street race" he said.

"You forgot to hiccup in that sentence" Cornelius commented.

"And what about when you fought in the KG-factory?" Well asked.

"Fine then. I never loose, HICK HICK except in the class one race, the street race or that fight in the KG-factory HICK" Errol said.

"And what about that time we had a drinking contest?" Cornelius asked.

Errol looked at Cornelius with a puzzled expression.

"I won that one" he said (**he must have)**

"No you didn't" Cornelius said as the lying bastard he is.

"Yes I HICK!" said Errol.  
"I know you have a hiccup but you lost that bet" said Cornelius.

"I did not! HICK" Errol yelled.

"Did too!" Cornelius yelled.

"I did not! HICK" Errol yelled.

"Did too!" Cornelius yelled.

"I did not! HICK" Errol yelled.

"Did too!" Cornelius yelled.

"I did not!" Errol yelled.

"Did too! HICK" Cornelius yelled.

"I did not! HICK" Errol yelled.

"Did too!" Cornelius yelled.

"I did not! HICK" Errol yelled.

"Did too!" Cornelius yelled.

You get the picture.

"Drop it or I'll call your mom!" Jak said. "The point is; you've never won against me"

Errol thought for a moment realizing it was true.

"Fine then HICK! But I won't loose again!" he said.

Jak blew up the terraformer's head where Errol was sitting so the cyborg fell to the ground.

"Starting today… HICK…. I will not…HICK….Loose to you again….HICK!" said Errol and died.

Meanwhile, Ashelin was standing right next to the entrance of Spargus City waiting for Jak to come out of the burning pile of metal which five seconds ago threatened the whole world.

But no Jak appeared, instead, her cousin Cornelius walked out of the smoke.** (They are cousins in Growing up in case I haven't mentioned that before)**

He didn't have any injury or scratch of any kind after being in the explosion and acted like he was a lazy teenager. **(Ehm… he's twenty)**

"Where's Jak?" Ashelin asked.

"Somewhere" Cornelius answered.

"Did you see where he went?" Ashelin asked.

"Yup" Cornelius answered.

Ashelin waited for the answer for a few seconds.

"So… can you tell me where he went?" she asked.

"Yup"

…

…

…

"So… where is he?" Ashelin asked.

"Around" Cornelius answered.

"Is he still out in the desert?" Ashelin asked.

Cornelius looked up to see Light Jak fly over the city walls behind Ashelin.

"Nope" he answered.

"Did he hire you to distract me or something?" Ashelin asked.

"Yup" Cornelius answered.

"Why does he do this? I only wanted to congratulate him by giving him this t-shirt" Ashelin said, taking out a shit with the text "I miss Errol".

"I can give him the shirt" Cornelius said.

"Thank you" Ashelin said and gave the shirt to Cornelius… who ate it.

Ashelin glared at her cousin.

**Miss.Ecofreak: he he. Cornelius has the same habit as Jak, eating peoples clothes.**

**Zakura: yup**

**Miss.Ecofreak: anyway, please review and I'll upload the very last (gasp!) chapter soon.**


	36. Yet another party at the end

**Miss.Ecofreak: here it is guys, the last chapter**

**Jak-gang: (cheers)**

**Miss.Ecofreak: but fear not. I'm sure to figure out more randomness in the future**

**Jak-gang: (screams)**

**Daxter: let's kill her.**

**Answer to Star Earo: funny. I didn't know you could get a Grammy Award for fanfics**

**Zakura: you don't know ANYTHING about Grammy Awards**

**Answer to Light Eco Sage: Jak and Errol related? Better not say that toJak, he'd freak out:) But in fact, in my other fics, Jak has a half-sister who's the cousin of Ashelin on her father's side and Ashelin is the cousin of Errol on her mother's side. Jak's not related to any of these of course but it's still rather freaky.**

**Jak: gasp!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (is holding the review up in front of Jak's face) see? told you he would freak out.**

**Jak: no, I don't care that Cornelius and I have the same habits. I'm freaked out because the paper is pink**

**Miss.Ecofreak: uh... it's not.**

**Jak: really? Are you sure**

**Zakura: AW GIVE IT A BREAK! Let's just get started already.**

**CHAPTER 36**

**YET ANOTHER PARTY AT THE END**

"Finally! The terror is over!" Jak said, he had just burned down Ashelin's t-shirt-stand wearing a t-shirt saying "I hate t-shirts" and a caps saying "I love caps".  
Ashelin (who had finally managed to get in although Cornelius ran in and locked the door and placed his two pit bulls (named Keira and Keira) inside) glared at Jak.

Torn ripped of his shirt as well, the shirt had the text "I never burn Praxis-loving shirts", and burned it while yelling "freedom!"

He was also wearing a caps saying "I don't really like Praxis, it was just Ashelin's stupid shirts that made it look that way".

Ashelin glared at Torn.

"Where did all those caps come from?" She asked.

"That's from our new company" Cornelius said, he was standing behind a stand saying "Jak and Cornelius' caps" wearing a caps saying "How do you like this story so far? Send in a review and tell us what you think and we might send you a nice caps… not!"

"I am so happy we finally did this" Cornelius said. "I want to sing a happy song again".

Then he started singing "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely".

"Thank you all, now we finally don't have to fear dark makers anymore" the ottsel leader said, he was wearing a caps saying "We are the most powerful beings in the universe"

His dorky friend had a cap covering his eyes saying "We are?"

And the surfer ottsel had caps with the text "Shhh!"  
"Damn it, my life ambition was to search for a bunch of little fuzzy rats" Samos said, he had a shirt and a caps saying the exact same thing; "Mar makes great caps".

"I told you it was no big deal" Seem said, she had obviously known about the precursor's true form for some time. She was also wearing a shirt saying "Ottselfur makes great clothing" made out of a suspicious looking material, and a caps saying "Fur is murder" made out of cardboard.

"Your life ambition should have been to pay more attention to me but nooooo. Everyone totally ignored me in this fic" Keira muttered, she was wearing a shirt saying "Ashelin's shirts rule, Jak's caps drools" and a caps saying "Jak's caps rule, Ashelin's shirts drool".

"This planet is finally safe, but there are still lots of new challenges in the future" said the ottsel surfer.

"Just as long as Naughty Dog don't make a game out of it, if they do you can bet Miss.Ecofreak will create a new parody" Jak said and shuddered.

"What planet do we live on again? Doesn't this ball of dirt have a name?" Keira asked.

"Er… perhaps we should name it… Keira?" Cornelius suggested** (aw, how cute… or extremely freaky. He named the planet after his brother's true love)**

"Nah, I think I'll call it... this ball of dirt" Well said.

Everyone agreed that was a good name for the planet.

"Hey! Don't we get any presents for saving the world?" Daxter asked, he was wearing a caps saying "Don't we get any presents for saving This Ball Of Dirt?"

"Oh… okay. As your reward Daxter, we will give you this nice pair of pants and a beautiful girlfriend" the ottsel leader said and gave Daxter a pair of pants and transformed Tess into an ottsel.

"Hey! I want to be a precursor too!" Well said.

"Okay" the ottsel said and shot a beam of eco on the leprechaun, transforming him into a flut-flut.

"Hey! Nothing happened!" Well complained.

The three precursors looked at him with a puzzled expression for a moment, and then they changed Well into a real precursor.  
"Whoho! I'm a precursor! I'm a precursor!" Well the ottsel sang.

"That's my song!" Daxter said attacking Well.

"Oh well, now that everything worked out I guess we better get going" said the ottsel leader and left before they remembered they had forgotten to invite Jak, but then they realized it was no point in asking, they had read the script and knew he was going to say no anyway.

So everyone lived happily ever after and married each other.

Jak married Ashelin

Torn decided to move on and married Kleiver

Veger married a sewer rat

Jak's morph gun married Sig's peacemaker

Errol didn't marry anyone because he was an asshole and he was also dead

Samos married Onin

Ashelin's t-shirts married Jak and Cornelius' caps

Daxter married Tess

Sig married the air train

The metalhead leader married some metalhead

Cornelius married Tanya the sparrowflut

Sasuke married Zakura (or so she wish)

Civilian Guy married Random Woman

Ehm married a chocolate cake

Jinx married a box of cigarettes

Orange lightning married Tess

Well married the flut-flut from Jak and Daxter1

Kor married some metalhead

Seem married Haku (the guy from Naruto who looks like a girl)

Mar married Ashelin

In other words, everyone got married.

"No they didn't! I didn't marry anyone! No one wanted to marry me! Why am I being ignored? Hey! I'm still here you know! SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THIS MADNESS NOW!" Keira yelled and started doing lots of crazy stuff to get attention.

"Hey stop complaining!" Brutter the lurker said. "At least you got to appear in this game!"

Then he too started doing insane things to get attention including speaking normally which is something we all know Brutter can't do.

**Jak-gang: (celebrates)**

**Jak: finally! The torture of the Dork-series is finally over! No Jak4 for you!**

**Miss.Ecofreak: aw**

**Daxter: now we can finally stop acting like idiots!**

**Zakura: hey guys! Guess what I figured out! ND is in the process of making two new Jak and Daxter-games!**

**Jak: (frowns) what?**

**Zakura: it's true! The first one's called JakX combat racing and will be some sort of racing/adventure game while the other one is for the PSP focusing more on Daxter.**

**Daxter: (frowns) me?**

**Miss.Ecofreak: (smirks) now this was good news wasn't it?**

**Keira: Will I appear?**

**Zakura: how should I know? I'm no Naughty Dog, I'm a Naughty Rabbit.**

**Miss.Ecofreak: well I was happy hearing these news, but unfortunately…**

**Jak: … you mean fortunately…**

**Miss.Ecofreak: … Dork3 is finished for now, I really hope you liked it, keep sending in reviews and look out for… ehm… something that looks funny.**


End file.
